Texteritis outbreak reported!
Don’t panic just yet but I have some bad news. Apparently there is an epidemic, or is it pandemic? that is going around. Yes sir, it’s called Texteritis that is very contagious. It does not discriminate. Sex, age or race, no one is exempted. Don’t take this lightly folks, this is some serious stuff I’m talking about right here. I don’t care who you are, this stuff aint funny.
Take the other day for example, my wife and I were at a restaurant enjoying a rare lunch moment alone. No, not alone with the kids, alone with each other. There’s no such thing as ‘enjoying lunch with kids’ and you should know that, if not go read here. But anyways, as I was saying, we were having lunch at a restaurant and happened to see these five young construction workers suffering from various forms of Texteritis. Texteritis usually renders its victim speechless and devoid of social skills, hence they were sitting there without a word to each other. Their hunched shoulders, were also a symptom of Texteritis. How sad.
Now, I am not immune to this disease. I have experienced minor symptoms myself which compels me to grab my cell while in the company of friends and family, and start texting. With exercise and self-discipline, I have been able to avert a full onset of the disease, fortunately. Some are not so fortunate.
In the same restaurant, not far from the stricken construction workers, four businessmen sat with zombie-like expressions, (a visible sign of Texteritis). They, like the construction workers, had also lost the ability to converse. Again, how sad.
If you are still thinking that this is a teenager disease, think again. On the weekend I was at the beach and not far from my picnic spot sat an elderly gentleman and his happy-face wife. I am not sure why she was even happy as her husband was obviously suffering late stage Texteritis. He was sitting there, albeit close to her, while his thumbs flew across the keypad. Ok, maybe he was just playing games on it but he too seemed to have lost verbal communication. When I left the beach, he was still sitting there with his oblivious happy wife. Well, as the saying goes, as long as they are happy…
The crazy thing about Texteritis is that it can strike at anytime and anyplace, just asked the young woman who was took ill on her own wedding day while walking down the aisle with her dad no less! Yes, you read it right, she had to send and or receive a text message at that important time. If you are going, ‘What?!’ Read it here. This Texteritis is nothing to sneeze at. poor bride. How sad.
I have seen victims of the disease at work desks, bus stops, churches, toilet stalls, everywhere.
I am a worry wart or a hypochondriac as the medical people call it, so I of course went to see my doctor with my concerns. He assured me that I had nothing to worry about and that Texteritis generally, note that I said ‘generally’ strikes those between 13 and 39. He said with proper parenting, my own kids should be ok. The good doctor also made some suggestions as to how I could immunize myself and my family from this dreaded disease.
I will share his recommendations with you.
Keep exercising your voice by using it to talk to my friends and family, not by texting.
When in a social setting, put cell on vibrate and put it away unless it’s an emergency.
It’s not that important that you have to text and drive or walk and text.
You should practice calling someone on you cell. If you can remember how to.
I quickly made it home to pass on this information to our ailing foster son. His response was, “Maybe they have an app for that.”
Note: If you or someone you know are experiencing uncontrollable urges to texts at inopportune times which alienates you from friends and family, please pay attention to your symptoms and seek help immediately, your social life depends on it!