Sexual Assault Case Tossed Over Technicality

In yet another gross and blatant miscarriage of justice by our Justice system, a case involving sexual abuse of a minor was tossed out based on a flimsy technicality.  Tossed out like dirty dish water.  If there ever was a right time to yell B**L  S**t! this is it. Totally BS if you ask me.

Let’s talk.  In a nutshell, the victim who was just seven at the time of the alleged abuse, which included fondling and oral sex, is now 17.  She went to the cops with a statement of the incidents when she was 14 but a request by the police to speak to the accused, her mom’s ex boyfriend, was refused.  A warrant for his arrest was served but never executed until 18 months later and that my readers, is where the technicality lies.

The presiding Judge tossed the case out because it took too long.  My question is, would he have felt the same way if the victim was his own daughter?  So now we have a child molester and pedophile out there somewhere probably preying on some other kid as we speak, and a girl who was betrayed by the very system that was put in place to protect her and other kids like her,  from this nightmare.  Unfortunately, because justice was never served, her nightmare will continue.   For her, it would not just disappear because time elapsed.  The judge felt that the accused rights were violated.  Well, seems like this judge has his sense of responsibility all confused.  How about the rights of the young victim? Wanna talk about violation?  The perp violated her and you, your honor, violated her further.

A sex crime against a 7-year old is disgusting and disturbing to say the least.  It is reprehensible.  No technicality should exist that would enable the perpetrator to get off the hook once he’s proven guilty.   Granted, this guy was not proven guilty.  The court never got the chance to prove his guilt or innocence.

Injustice and lack of compassion is what this is all about.  I hope that the victim could find strength to make a full recovery from her abuse and subsequent misrepresentation by a toothless Justice System.

Related:

http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/girls-sex-assault-case-tossed-177816061.html

Remember The Soldiers? Or Go Shopping?

November 11 is Remembrance Day (Photo credit: Enokson)

On November 11th, the commonwealth countries will show their respect for the brave men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice so that we could enjoy the benefits of living in a free world.   It is recognized as a national holiday here in Canada and up until a few years ago, the entire day was set aside to reflect and remember.

A recent editorial in the local newspaper bore testimony to how even a day such as Remembrance day is no match for commercialization.  The editorial was titled “Sunday shopping affected on Nov. 11″.   Sunday shopping affected?  Affected?  Doesn’t that sound to you as if Remembrance day is intruding on one’s right to shop?  Yes, that’s what I got from that also.

I have always had an issue with the new Sunday shopping laws that now allow stores to opening earlier on Sundays to help those who make shopping their hobby.  Read my blog here.  When a holiday as important as this falls on a Sunday, the least we could do is show some respect and observe it to the fullest.  It’s only one day versus how many days some of these soldiers spent in war zones fighting to make it possible for us to go shopping.

Remembrance day is a great opportunity for us to sit down with our kids and tell them stories about the wars.  Children love shoot em up stories with villains and heroes so we could take advantage of this and spin an interesting story for them.  This way,  the fading memory of our soldiers would never be forgotten when we are gone.

The editorial should have been, ‘Remembrance day halts Sunday shopping’.

Just my take, Lest We Forget.

Related articles

• Vets say bar is ‘sexualizing’ Remembrance Day (lfpress.com)
• Remembrance Day 2014: Calls To Close Shops (news.sky.com)
• Why Wear a Poppy (insidehalton.com)
• Sunday Shopping Affected On Nov. 11
• Shop or Family?

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

No one bothered to tell me about this show before? I had to find in while surfing the web.  No one also bothered to think that this was a bit odd and wrong?  A 7-year old  parading around dressed inappropriately?  And we wonder about our lost morality and values…  And we wonder why there are so many young girls in Hollywood messed up to the hilts.   We promote it with garbage like this.

So I found out that Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is a show on TLC featuring toddler, Alana Thompson and her family.   Apparently, the family gained famed after being on Kids & Tiaras, another exploitation show.  (Oops, did I say exploitation? I meant beauty show).  In its first season, it was one of TLC’s most watched shows.  So there’s definitely an audience out there for that sort of thing.  We both know what they are called, it’s illegal in some states.

In case you didn’t know, HBB’s mom give her Go Go Juice so she could be alert for her engagements.  Don’t be alarmed, it’s only a mixture of red bull and mountain dew, the equivalent of two cups of coffee.  Nothing a precocious 7-year old can’t handle.

Now I don’t know about you, but this makes me furious.  I know it’s not my kid but seriously?  Have you seen pics of this girl and her family?  Worst yet, have you seen pics of this girl?  Suggestively posing in skin-revealing clothing that some, even you, might find cute but I don’t and I can’t.  How far is this exploitation of children going to go?  I know we are in an economic downturn and people are doing anything for money to take care of themselves and their families.  Fame and fortune at any cost is the order of the day.  But please, not the children.  Let them be children.

You know you should quit when your kid tells you they hate being in the spotlight and hate it when fans approach them.   End it now before it becomes  ”There Goes Honey Boo Boo”

 

Hey, if this sort of thing turns your crank and you are a fan of this show, don’t let me rain on your parade, knock yourself out as they say cuz it’s just MY TAKE.

Related articles

• Kris Jenner Wants To Manage Honey Boo Boo – Report (hollywoodlife.com)
• Honey Boo Boo’s Niece Kaitlyn Already Competing In Pageants (hollywoodlife.com)
• Honey Boo Boo Doesn’t Like Being On TV, Hates Fans Encounters (VIDEO) (huffingtonpost.com)
• Is Honey Boo Boo Headed Towards A Meltdown? (997now.cbslocal.com)
• http://herecomeshoneybooboo.wikia.com/wiki/Alana_Thompson

DeHORNing The BULLies

The web is abuzz on  the sad and tragic story of Amanda Todd, the 15-year old girl who took her own life after being cyber bullied.   you can read it here.

I did a lot of thinking after I read this story, trying to find how bullying could have such devastating effect on someone, not just Amanda.  (Apparently,  Amanda’s life fell apart after she was coerced into flashing her breasts online).

Amanda’s online indiscretion came back to haunt her in a way that she could not deal with.  It followed her to school and everywhere and she responded the way the bullies wanted her to.  She was the perfect victim.   Not everyone  has the mental toughness and attitude to deal with something like this.  Some would shrug it off and tell the bullies to shove it or even call their bluff.  You want to show my boobs on Facebook?  Go right ahead, who cares?  Amanda couldn’t and didn’t and it ate her alive.

Back in my day, bullying was not an issue.  The word ‘bully’ was used casually as in, ‘Leave me alone, you big bully!’  No one was ever accused of actually bullying anyone.  I was called rude names and embarrassed in front of classmates, heck, even my teacher joined in sometimes.  By day’s end, it was all forgotten until the next bullying.   I was never depressed because of it even though it was rather belittling to me.  My wife confessed that she too was bullied because of her early chest development.  Boys would snap her bra and joined the girls in  taunting her.  Again, it was a distant memory by day’s end for her also.   That didn’t mean it was right back then.

In school, I can’t think of anyone who wasn’t harassed or bullied in some way.  Unless it came down to a physical confrontation, it was never an issue and no one complained, not even the victim.

After the tragic fact,  many questions could be asked.  Why didn’t Amanda stay off the computer after being bullied online? Why didn’t she complain to the school authorities? The police, her parent?  All moot now in regards to this poor girl.

Why is bullying getting so dangerous? Are people more insensitive or are our kids overly sensitive?  I don’t know, I am just asking.  Teens everywhere are killing themselves far too often because of bullying.    Why wasn’t this happening years ago?  What changed?  Were we tougher?   Granted, the internet wasn’t around so if a girl bared her breasts, it ended up being her word against those who saw.

In my opinion, our changed society is playing a big part in providing bullies with ammunition they never had before.   Kids cannot deal with not fitting in and being accepted.  Looks are everything.  Self esteem is held together by a thread that falls apart at the first snag.  Computers have provided a breeding ground for a new form of bullying.  Cyber bullies are preying on unsupervised kids with unlimited and uncensored access to websites.  Parents are proud of their 8-year old’s ability to surf the net without assistance.

So how do we change this?  How do we unarmed the bullies and nullify their game?  Anti bullying laws may not be enough.  We could start in our homes. One thing I noticed is that most of the victims are silent until their final act shouts out the fact that they were bullied to death.  Maybe we as parents need to make ourselves and our home a safe haven that our kids can come to with their issues.   We could provide a strong support team that is available to them 24/7, this way they do not feel like they are alone as in Amanda’s case.  She should have never felt that she was alone and had no one to turn to.  Sadly, it’s only after their death that we tell the deceased that we were there for them if only they had come to us.  Maybe in life we did not give them reason to think that way?  Teaching kids to be strong mentally, with respect for themselves and each other is also a step in the right direction.  Although we sometimes cannot control how our children turn out, our homes are usually where it all starts.

We may not be able to actually stop bullying  but we could prepare our children and help them to recognize and deal with all forms of bullying.  Bullying is wrong!  No one should feel the way Amanda did.  If you are a bully or have the tendencies, please seek help.  If you are bullied, never think you are alone.

RIP Amanda!  You were loved!

Never Alone

Related articles

• For anyone who ever dismissed online bullying. Amanda Todd RIP [Mike Turner] (ecademy.com)
• Den Tandt: We have remedies for bullying: What’s missing is will (canada.com)
• U.S. pre-teen encourages kids to stand up for each other in Amanda Todd-inspired anti-bullying campaign (o.canada.com)
• Teen girl’s death after posting video about being bullied (thesun.co.uk)
• Not alone: Amanda Todd case emphasises the importance of helping victims of cyberbullying (mirror.co.uk)
• #109: R.I.P. Amanda Todd (fittingkeys.wordpress.com)
• http://abcnews.go.com/International/bullied-teen-amanda-todd-leaves-chilling-youtube-video/story?id=17463266#.UIFLmm_A-Bw

It’s never a bad day, even when it snows early

On Tuesday, I went to the hospital to visit a friend who recently suffered a massive stroke that paralyzed the entire right side of his body.  I sat with him for a while even though we couldn’t communicate with each other.  He sometimes struggled for a breath of air and tried to speak during his brief moments of consciousness but was mostly incoherent. This was a man who was never lacking for words.  He was intelligent and a great debater.  Now here he was, reduced to a mumbling baby.

As I watched him, feeling useless and wondering if there was something I could do or say, I thought of my frailty.  I thought of how I would feel with my mind trapped in a body that refused to answer its will.  It was a dreadful thought that scared me.

The next day it snowed, prematurely by our expectations as we hadn’t seen snow before December for some time.  I joined the voices of the malcontents and questioned God’s bad timing.  It’s just the beginning of October! What kind of joke is this? How long is winter going to last this year?  This really sucks!  It was just a knee-jerk reaction as I am never one to really complain about too much snow, rain, heat or otherwise.

Then I thought of my friend in the hospital, (See the good thing about having an overactive mind is that it sometimes counters the negative thoughts by coming up with other thoughts, even while thinking).  I suspected that my friend would rather be out here navigating the snowy roads and feeling cold than lying on a hospital bed not knowing what his future holds.  That was a sobering thought that righted my ship.

Later, I was surfing Facebook and came upon the photo above, it was about being thankful for each day as someone somewhere is fighting to survive.  Coincidence?

As Thanksgiving approaches, there’s no better time to think of the things that are taken for granted.  The things that we feel we have earned.  A breath of air, health, possessions.  We feel that no thanks are necessary or saying thanks once should be good enough.

When we have our health and our lives, there is no such thing as a bad day.  Snow falling when we think it’s not supposed to, does not constitute a tragedy.  So now I am thankful that I could experience another winter.  I could feel the cold and trudge through the snow and that’s  more than some could say.

Have a happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

Living in a bubble

Do you want to know how much our kids are pampered and coddled these days?  Well never mind, I am sure you do know.  It’s clearly visible every single day.  As a daddy, I am scared of what they are going to be like when it’s their turn to run this world.

Just a few weeks ago, I was at a bbq and happened to notice that one of the kids had a weird contraption that looked like a hand-held fan.  On the table was a shallow container with soapy water.  It didn’t take my rusty brain long to figure out what it was.  It was a bubbles maker!  You dip the fan-like thing into the soapy water, turn it on and voila! you’ve got bubbles without wasting a breath.  Heck, one could still keep up with their texts while blowing bubbles now.  Are you kidding me?

Our kids are missing the point on life.  It’s not about the bubbles, it’s the effort it takes to let out just the right amount of air to give you that perfect bubble.  Can’t our kids get a chance to break a sweat over anything anymore?  The schools work around them and allow them to be tardy and underachieving.  For example, at a meeting with one of our foster son’s teachers, he was told by the teacher not to worry too much about the work that he did not hand in during the term as he could always drop them off after exams and get his mark changed.  Now what is that doing to us who are trying to instill in him, the value of getting his work done and handed in on time?  What is this kid learning here?  That the world waits on him and he could get away with anything?

In sports, our poor over-worked children are taught not to compete.  Don’t keep scores and leave the nets empty. (no goaltenders).  It’s all about the fun of the game.  Who cares about developing the kids early? Thank goodness Wayne Gretzky and Tiger Woods didn’t grow up in this.   Coincidentally, recent studies are showing that obesity is a growing concern among kids.  They are not active enough.  Duh.

Back in the islands, we made our own toy cars and trucks.  We blew bubbles using our breaths, even though I was asthmatic, I was right in there with the best of them.  We played sports and yelled and celebrated when we scored or won a game.  No kid was traumatized by losing.  We knew our limitations so it didn’t bother us  that we weren’t the best player.   We kept playing.  Our teachers marked us ‘fail’ or ‘pass’ and nothing we did after the fact could change that mark.  Now look at me now.  Ok, maybe I’m not exactly a good example so don’t look but yeah, you get my drift.

(Do you know that they now have an app that blows bubbles for you?).

Our kids today are pampered, spoiled, coddled and over-protected.  I fear that they are ill-prepared to deal with the real world that awaits them when the bubble bursts.  But what do I know? It’s just my take.

Related articles

• Really Big Bubbles – I Mean Really Big! (francineclouden.typepad.com)
• Why innovation flourishes in a bubble (cbsnews.com)
• Our Schools

Son, don’t listen to your daddy

Kenyan, my 3-year old son, takes his soccer games seriously, as he does any sport he chose to play.  While his easily distracted teammates wander around the field, Kenyan stays focused on the game.  Even when he’s sitting out he still chose to sit and watch his team play and cheers them on.  Not coincidentally, he is one of the better player on the team and scores an average of 6 goals a game.  This blog however, is not about his soccer exploits.

After clapping his first couple goals, I usually keep a low profile and encourage him to involve his team by passing the ball.  Most of the kids play a one-on-five game and plays against their team so this is hard to instill at that age.   Fortunately, he seems to get the idea and I high-five him for making passes as much as scoring goals.

Yesterday he started his shift by netting two quick strikes.  After the third goal he actually started passing off to his teammates, even giving up scoring opportunities.  He did not score another goal for the rest of the game.  Unfortunately, I don’t think his team did either.

Just before he got on the field for the last shift of the game,  I experienced a sudden bout of  selfishness and without thinking, said to Kenyan, ‘This is your last shift, go out there and score a few goals, don’t bother to pass the ball, just go!’  Yes, I did say that.  I don’t know what came over me and as soon as I said it, I felt disappointed in myself.  Thank goodness I have instilled values in my son and he had retained them.  Kenyan turned, looked at me in dismay as though he couldn’t believe I actually said that.  ”Daddy, they are on my team, I have to pass to them.”

Yes, that’s all it took.  A nice gentle rebuke from my 3-year old to nudge me in sensibility.  Yes son, you are right.  Don’t listen to what daddy just said, go out there and play with your team.

Isn’t it awesome when your kid uses the life lesson you taught him to bring you back on track?  Even as parents, we are not above rebuke.

Note:  Now don’t go all ‘awww’ as this is the same kid who just yesterday, yelled ‘Mikhail, you suck!’  at his brother’s soccer game after Mikhail missed the ball on an easy goal attempt.

Related articles

• Kids’ Soccer Season (caramieandtheboyz.wordpress.com)
• Lindell is ‘that kid’ yelling on the sidelines (bangordailynews.com)

Manitoba Child and Family Services

When my wife and I decided to be good Samaritans and intercept my cousin on his way to a group home, we naïvely thought that with the support from Manitoba CFS, we would be more than capable to offer the care and discipline he desperately needed.  We couldn’t have been more wrong.  In terms of receiving support that is.

Let me stress than monetary recompense was never a reason in our decision.  As a matter of fact, it is more of a financial burden than it is a windfall.  If you have a teen-aged boy you would know.

Our first few weeks of being Foster Parents went well.  We had regular sessions with our CFS case worker.  We were made to feel that they would be there if we ever ran into any problems.  We didn’t expect it to be a breeze, even with three kids of our own.

We soon found that our new son’s scholastic performance was at a  grade five level.  He was in grade nine.  Without hesitation, we contacted CFS to find out how we could get him into a program for upgrading, maybe also provide funding or at least help to defray the cost.  We were shocked to learn that not only did they not have any such programs but were also unwilling to assist in any way.  We ended up enrolling him in Saturday classes at a cost of almost $110 per session.  (When it was time to do our taxes, we found that we couldn’t even claim this cost).

According to CFS, money is an issue hence the lack of financial support for many programs.  I understand that but what I don’t get is the speed in which they were able to get our foster son a mentor to take him out once in a while for a couple of hours.  Coincidentally, the mentor cost more than his tutoring.  Heck, the mentor made more than the parent he even got more than we did for keeping him full-time.  (Not that I’m complaining, mind you but what is priority?)

Our foster son is also seeing a child psychologist who has some reservations about his mental acuity and has tried to schedule some tests for a few months now.  CFS has not been exactly eager to assist him in this regard either.  More dead ends.

A month ago, we had some issues with our foster son that drove us to the edge.  We were ready to call it quits and called our case worker for an intervention.  We left him a voice message stating how dire the situation was and that we were ready to throw in the towel.  He did not come with tires squealing in our driveway.  In fact he did not come at all nor did he return our call.  It’s a good thing it wasn’t THAT dire.

It brings to mind the case of  Phoenix Sinclair.  This five year old was in the care of CFS and was murdered by her parents.  She was not even missed for nine months after her death!  I am not saying they are to be blamed but I am saying they dropped the ball when it came to being there for her.

There are other instances where we have found CFS to be more of a hindrance than a help. (I hate to be so harsh but it’s the truth).  Maybe we expected too much from them?  Maybe others have more flattering stories? Maybe they are pushed thin by lack of Government funding thus handicapping their ability to provide proper services? I don’t know.  What I do know is that whatever it is, it leaves a lot to be desired.

Related articles

• The Basics About Becoming A Foster Parent (slideshare.net)
• So You Want to Be a Foster Parent (temporarymommy.wordpress.com)
• http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/265992 (read details of baby Phoenix here)

My Take On The No-Kids Movement

It seems that as much as we take a step forward as a society, we take two backwards.  We keep this up and pretty soon we would be back in the dark ages.

Did you know that there is a  No-Kids Allowed Movement out there? Until recently, I didn’t either.  I just found out that it has been around for some time now and is growing in leaps and bounds.  The movement even boasts its own Facebook page.  Does this remind you of anything? Think racism.  Think of the signs that used to read ‘Whites only, no blacks allowed’.  (Sorry, I normally hesitate on using my color as example but in this case it helps to underscore my point).

Some  restaurants, theaters, hotels and even grocery stores are already banning kids from their establishments.  Yep. Just when you thought we were over this BS.

I am a dad of three little boys so I can’t fathom this nonsense.  This is not only a strike against my kids but also against me.  If you cannot accept my kids then you cannot accept me.  We are a packaged deal.  If I can’t take my kids with me, would you babysit them? I didn’t think so.

I understand the argument that kids can sometimes be nuisances especially when  in public places like stores, restaurant, church etc.  but isn’t this going too far?   Should we keep them away from school too as they are a bother to teachers? How about church? I am usually interrupted by a crying kid while in the sanctuary.  Is this an excellent reason to put up the ‘No Kids’ sign?  You have to agree with me that is it a bit much.

Having kids is a choice that not everyone makes.  Some who does make that choice  should have opted not to.  In some cases, they are the ones who make it bad for us parents with good intentions and parenting skills.  Those who exercise their rights not to bear children sometimes try to impose their choices on others.  This No-Kids nonsense is one such imposition.

Children learn from their environment and keeping them away from establishments does not serve any purpose.  They are too loud on planes, too unruly at the grocery stores and movie theaters, well have you seen some adults lately? Maybe even yourself?  Some of us are not exactly model citizens and are worst than some kids.

Kids are not second-hand smoke, we can’t go around putting up ‘No-Kids’ signs.  What do you think that would do kids? What would it do to you if suddenly you were banned from places because of your sexual orientation? How about autistic adults who operates at the intelligence level of a child? Ban them too?

Let’s see, instead of putting all this on the kids and letting them pay such harsh penalty, how about we put the blame where it belongs? On bad parenting. Parents who let their kids roam unchecked.  Parents who breed kids like a kitty mill just so they can take advantage of the system. Parents who are kids themselves.  Why not go at them more aggressively?  Make them more responsible.  If they are on social assistance, discourage them from having kids.  Enlighten them.  Let them attend parenting workshops as part of their requirements for getting assistance.   These are just some ideas but there are more.  Do what you must but leave our children alone.

Related articles

• http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/the-no-kids-allowed-movement-is-spreading-2516110.html
• http://michaeldouglasjohnson.com/2011/07/28/the-no-kids-allowed-movement-is-spreading/
• http://suburbanturmoil.com/the-no-kids-allowed-movement-is-spreading-and-im-glad/2011/07/27/

My Directbuy Experience

Yesterday evening my wife and I took the plunge and attended an open house at Directbuy.  Considering we are building a house and would be needing appliances, it was a great idea to see what’s out there to save us some money.

We walked in and were immediately confronted by a throng of smiling, happy and eager sales agents.  They acted like we were long-lost friends that they hadn’t seen in a while.  I immediately felt uncomfortable.  It was like entering your house only to be greeted by a houseful of guests yelling ‘Surprise!’

An elderly gentleman looking very much like an overly enthusiastic Andy Griffith came over to us and said he was basically our chaperone for the evening.  He took us to a table and asked some basic and sometimes silly questions.  ”Do you like to buy things on sale?” “Do you like markups?”  He actually waited for answers too.  After plying us with coffee and water, he ushered us into a room where about five couples were already seated in preparation for the presentation.

The presentation was given by another guy.  It was cheesy to say the least, with some more silly questions and a few videos of members extolling the virtues of having a membership at Directbuy. Their smiles and tones made me want to laugh but I held it in and feigned interest.

An hour later it was over, the presentation that is.  Andy Griffith came back and escorted us from the room and back to our conference table.  He again asked us, ‘So do you like markups?” “Would you shop at a place that didn’t have any markups?” And yes, he again waited for our answers.  After more dallying, he finally came right out and said it.   “You should buy a membership today”.  Just like that.  There was no ‘Would you be interested or go home and think about it, just  ”You should buy a membership today.”  When we nicely declined his generous offer, he took it up and notch and informed us that should we not get it, we would not be allowed access for seven years.  Did I mention it was at a cost of $5290? It would have been $6290 but we were VIP and got $100 off. (In my best infomercial voice:  Act now and save yourself 100 dollars off the cost of a membership!)

After almost three hours, we finally escaped without committing to part with any of our hard-earned cash.

Note: Maybe some of you are members of Directbuy and it’s working for you.  I won’t argue the benefits.  This was just not something we thought would work for us and I was very uncomfortable with their in your face tactics.  Maybe we would have saved a few thousand dollars but would that have covered our membership cost? I didn’t think so.