Oklahoma Tornado – My Image Of The Day

Today, as I read about the devastation caused by the monstrous twister that touched down in Moore, Oklahoma, I was drawn to the photo posted above.  To me it spoke volumes.

In the photo, a woman with bright blue hair and black boots, rushed to gather her child. Her hair flying wildly and legs pumping like pistons, her body language conveying relief, happiness, fright, panic all in the same package.  It reminds me of a lioness rushing to the aid of a member of her pride.  To snatch it from the clutches of the enemy.

A photo like this would usually be fodder for jokes.  The hair, the attire, ripe for the pickings but in this situation, I see no humor.  I see a fellow parent.  A parent who suddenly realized that her little boy is not dead but very much alive.  A child who sees his mom as the most beautiful mom in the world.  Not a blue-haired freak in black boots charging at him like an out of control freight train.

That’s My Mommy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s funny, but not ha ha funny, that no matter what mommy looks like on the outside, she’s always the most beautiful mommy in the world on the inside to her child.  When the child is in danger, mommy is even more beautiful when she shows up at just the right time.  Mommy is here baby!  Everything is going to be fine.

I can imagine how this mother feels.  Hearing the news that the school her child is attending has been destroyed with some fatalities.  The feeling is indescribable.  Then to show up at the school and see your son very much alive.  No words could describe the transition of feelings.  Legs buckling fear and panic followed by legs buckling relief.  In the photo, I see it all.

God be with all the victims of this disaster.  May the souls of the dead rest in peace and may their loved ones be comforted.

Note:  A reader notified me that the person is not the boy’s mom but actually his sister who ran all the way from her high school after learning his school had been hit.  It doesn’t diminish my interpretation of the photo in any way.  If anything it just shows that some sisters could be just as close as  mothers.

Maybe Your Kid’s Not Ready For Soccer

Soccer season is in full swing.  This is the time when parents run around ferrying the precious little ones all over the city trying to find which field they play on.  It could be very stressful, especially if you are a parent with more than one kid playing soccer.  In my case, I have 3 and each of them.  On different teams.

Last week it was my turn to take my 3-year old to his second game of the season.  My wife told me that he was doing really good and even scored a goal so I couldn’t wait to see him in action.  Unfortunately he seemed more attentive to daddy on the sidelines than he was on the ball.  He took regular timeouts to wave at me, inspect the grass and even running off the field prematurely to tell me a story.  I kept urging him back to the field of play.  When the ball happened to roll his way, he at least ventured to kick it.  Not so with some of the other kids.

Soccer is a great and cheap tool for young kids to learn team sports and social skills.  I am not sure it is effective if the kids spend the hour standing around inspecting the grass,  crying to get off the field or just showing a total indifference to the game.  Granted, a few kids do change as the season progresses but in most cases they don’t.  I for one would not think it is money well spent to watch my kid wander around a soccer field.  For free, I could take the little one to a park and kick a ball around.  If he doesn’t like it, we could come home and call it a day.  Sometimes as many as three parents are on the field urging their little ones on. Holding their hands and guiding them to the ball like a seeing-eye dog.  At my last game, there was a mom with a baby attached to her in one of those baby knapsack things running around the field with her soccer-playing son who was the least bit interested in being there.

Maybe I expect too much.  Maybe I’m one of those parents you read about.  (No, I’m not!).  I just think that there are cheaper ways to get your little ones to get out, play and socialize with other kids.  But maybe it’s actually for the parents to socialize with other parents…Maybe the parents need the exercise more than the little ones do.  Some parents have taken the hint from their kids and stopped taking them to soccer.  “I am not sure he likes it so we don’t bother taking him anymore.  Plus, I don’t enjoy chasing him around on the field.”   By their actions, the kids have spoken.  Maybe they are just not ready for soccer.  At least that’s what I think.

• That Soccer Season (caramieandtheboyz.wordpress.com)
• Moms vs Dads

Moms vs Dads

Happy Mother’s day to all the mothers.  If I had my way, you would have had a week set aside for us to pay homage to the women who cared unselfishly for us.

Moms are so awesome, aren’t they?  Without them, the world would be filled with wannabe macho men trying to live up to their dads’ expectations.  Ever been to a youth soccer game and listen to the parents of a kid?  The dad would shout in his gruff man voice, “Come on boy! Kick that ball like I showed you in practice!  You could do it!”  Mommy’s little voice would chime in, “Go baby, you are doing great!  Nice work.”

A dad gets home from work to find his 4-year old has made him a card with drawings that he toiled on for hours.  “Daddy look what I made for you!”  He shouts excitedly.  Dad glances at the thing and thought in his mind, What the heck is this? but says, “Good work son,  show it to your mom when she gets home.”   Sure enough mommy is quick to gush over her kid’s handiwork.  “Awww…that’s so sweet.  Look at it!”  And that’s why we love em.

Moms recognize their roles and accept it.  That’s why when a kid is acting up they would say,  “Just you wait until your Dad gets home!”  Dads recognize their roles also and play it well.  If the child does something nice, Dad would say, “Just wait until your Mom gets home and show it to her.”  Because Daddy doesn’t really care about such things that much.  He would add in his mind.

So that’s why we love our mothers.  They keep us in touch with our feminine sides and let us know that it is ok for grown men to cry.  Even if Daddy is watching.  We love you Mommy!  Have a Happy Mother’s Day!

How Sorry Are You Really? And Are You Really Praying For Me?

I watched the caller’s number on my phone as it rang on my desk.  I knew who it was, it was a co-worker.  I wasn’t too busy to take the call but it was someone I just wasn’t in the mood to talk to right then.  The next day, I emailed the caller to let her know I got her message on my answering machine.   I started with, “I am sorry I missed your call…”  Then erased it.  Why?  Because I wasn’t really sorry.  In fact, sorry was the last thing I felt.  So I changed it to, “I missed your call…”  Much better!

Now how many of you can relate to that?  Someone call on you for help and the first words you utter are,  ”I am sorry but I can’t help you.”  Or the classic, “I am sorry but I’ll have to hurt you.”  If you are sorry and you haven’t hurt me yet, then why don’t you just forget about hurting me?  That way, we both win.  I don’t get hurt and you have no reason to feel sorry.   How about the generic auto-reply message on your phone?   “I am sorry but I can’t come to the phone right now.”   If you are too busy to take the call,  you are either ignoring the caller on purpose, in which case you are not sorry, or playing with your kids, still not sorry, or cleaning your house, etc.  Nothing there to be sorry about.  Busted!

“I am praying for you…”  I am guilty of using that cliché myself.  It’s the first thing that comes to mind at the time of a disaster.  Boston Bombing for example.  A lot of my friends’ statuses promised prayers and thoughts.  Mine did too but I am happy to report, I kept my word and did offer up prayers and thoughts.   It’s a bit funny to see some of my friends who are professed atheists saying their prayers are with the victims.  See the confusion a tragedy can cause?  Atheists calling on God and Christians losing their faith…

So how about we bring back the true meaning of ‘sorry’ and try not to say sorry unless we mean it?  Don’t be sorry about the bombing, unless of course you are the bomber.  If you are like some of my friends and offered up thoughts and prayers to the victims of the Boston Bombing but got too busy to follow through, it’s not too late.  Send up some prayers to the Big Guy.  If you are an atheist, then you could…er…hmm… Just think happy thoughts.

Just my take.  I am sorry if you don’t like it.  Praying that one day you will…

 

 

What Are You Giving Up For Lent?

I don’t believe in giving anything up for Lent.  Or any other day for that matter.  Well unless you or someone else can convince me otherwise.

My mom was telling me in a proud voice that she gave up eating meat for the Lenten period.  She is Catholic.  I said to her,  ”Mom, it’s really not what you eat or don’t eat for Lent.  God sent his Son to die for us in the ultimate sacrifice.  There’s nothing you or I could give up or sacrifice that could begin to equal this.  In my opinion, God didn’t do this for us to pay him back by giving up the stuff we enjoy, even temporarily.  He wants our hearts, not our food.  I think that being good people and helping others is what he wants from us”.

That’s what I said to her but she was not deterred.  I could be wrong but it’s the way I see it. I seriously can’t see how giving up something could trump say, helping the poor.  How about for Lent, praying more earnestly?  Or, adding praying for your friends and family?  Sounds more effective to me than not eating meat.  (I am not in any way trying to belittle or question any religion and their practices.  If you subscribe to this practice, good for you. As they say, ‘to each his own’).

Yesterday, my mom ate meat.  The temptation was too much I guess…Oh and for the couple of weeks she didn’t eat meat, I didn’t see any changes in her.

Love you mama! Meat eater or not.

Just my take.

Related articles

• What Lent is Really About (cwoznicki.wordpress.com)
• You can’t lose, unless you give up (contemplativehomeschool.wordpress.com)
• Making Lent Real (encourageandteach.wordpress.com)
• Lead us not into temptation (fsdm.org.uk)
• What are u giving up for Lent?…. (tumietango.wordpress.com)
• Lent Heart Prayer Day 17 (mikeraburn.com)

He Said What?

This morning I was listening to 92 CITI FM when I heard the dj say, “Son of a b###h!”    Now I’m not a prude or nor am I perfect, even though some may think I am, but it sure caught me off guard.  Does everything goes on radio and tv now?

I have three young kids and I censor what they hear and see on radio, tv and computer.  I  know most kids these days hardly know what a radio is much less to listen to one early in the morning but I still think colorful language and conversation has no place on radio.  That fine line that separates the acceptable from the not-so-acceptable is getting blurrier and blurrier.

 

 

Let’s Talk Turkey – Christmas Reflections

Ok, one holiday down, one more to go.  How are you doing so far?  How was your Christmas?  Were you overwhelmed by everything around you?  Did you stop and consider the real reason for the season?  So many questions.  It is so easy to get lost in all the hoopla surrounding Christmas.  So easy to forget what Christmas really means.

Christmas is almost synonymous with gift giving.  We sometimes feel inadequate if we cannot get a gift for a loved one.  On the flip side, we also feel hard done by if a loved one does not give us a gift.  I am not sure why the gift giving, especially when it’s between people who can afford their own gifts but you know what? I am not knocking it.  I have gotten some darn good items, thanks to this tradition.  It would seem weird if my friends exchanged presents with each other at my birthday party, wouldn’t it?

Shopping is another activity that goes hand in hand with Christmas. Shop till you drop seems to be the acceptable mantra.  Gifts, food for the parties, clothes, boxing day sales, buy buy buy!  Again, I am not sure how this ties in with Christmas but someone is making a killing, don’t look at me.

Even though I partake in all the above mentioned Christmas activities and delight in them, I would have no problem with Christmas being more of a time to focus than to stress out over who gets what and who gives what.  I would enjoy the old-fashioned style of Christmas that you see depicted in stories of old.  Where parents tell their kids stories while they listen in rapture.  I would enjoy a Christmas where we the fortunate ones take the opportunity to get ‘gifts’ for the less fortunate.  I know some of us do include this in our list of ‘things we do at Christmas’ but I would like to see the stress placed on it.  We say ‘Christmas is for children’,  I couldn’t disagree more.  It’s not for Children.  It’s for all of us.  If we consider all of us God’s children, then yes, it is for children.

In case you are wondering, “If you like it that way why don’t you celebrate it that way then?” Well I do.  Kinda.  As a team effort it would be even more special and far reaching.  Just imagine it.

Have a Happy New Year!  And remember, it’s all my takes.

Related articles

• What If Christmas Didn’t Exist? (corynikkel.com)

Opening your gifts

 

I was thinking, like I always do, about what I would have liked to be doing instead of doing what I’m doing.  Where would I be and so on and so on.  This thought led to another and another and soon enough, I was thinking about the gifts that we are all born with and how some of these are extraordinary and unique yet they sit in our mental cupboards, unopened.  We are scared to open them as doing so could drastically change our lives the way we knew it.  We are influenced by our peers not to open them or we are too shy.

 

On Christmas morning, parents sit with expectant looks on their faces as they watch their little ones rip at the gift wrappings on their presents.  Cameras are cocked and ready to record the looks of excitement and glee on the little ones faces as they see what is inside.  Upon opening a much-wanted present, all unwrapping comes to an end as the child is now occupied with that one gift.  “Come over here and open the other presents you have under the tree”.  Each present is special and without opening each one, the child would never know if there’s one that trumps his now-prized present.

 

This can be the used to describe our lives.  We choose our paths based on financial reasons, popularity, peer pressure or other.  We settle on that one gift that make us at least comfortable.  We have not explored our other gifts because we feel comfortable ‘settling’ with what we have.  Married with kids and a basically comfortable life, we fear rolling the dice could upset our lives and so our gift, our unique talent is left unopened and unexplored.

What is your talent that sits unopened?  Life is short, rip it open and see where it takes you.

 

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• What’s your gift? (thundergodblog.wordpress.com)

 

Remember The Soldiers? Or Go Shopping?

November 11 is Remembrance Day (Photo credit: Enokson)

On November 11th, the commonwealth countries will show their respect for the brave men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice so that we could enjoy the benefits of living in a free world.   It is recognized as a national holiday here in Canada and up until a few years ago, the entire day was set aside to reflect and remember.

A recent editorial in the local newspaper bore testimony to how even a day such as Remembrance day is no match for commercialization.  The editorial was titled “Sunday shopping affected on Nov. 11″.   Sunday shopping affected?  Affected?  Doesn’t that sound to you as if Remembrance day is intruding on one’s right to shop?  Yes, that’s what I got from that also.

I have always had an issue with the new Sunday shopping laws that now allow stores to opening earlier on Sundays to help those who make shopping their hobby.  Read my blog here.  When a holiday as important as this falls on a Sunday, the least we could do is show some respect and observe it to the fullest.  It’s only one day versus how many days some of these soldiers spent in war zones fighting to make it possible for us to go shopping.

Remembrance day is a great opportunity for us to sit down with our kids and tell them stories about the wars.  Children love shoot em up stories with villains and heroes so we could take advantage of this and spin an interesting story for them.  This way,  the fading memory of our soldiers would never be forgotten when we are gone.

The editorial should have been, ‘Remembrance day halts Sunday shopping’.

Just my take, Lest We Forget.

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• Vets say bar is ‘sexualizing’ Remembrance Day (lfpress.com)
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• Sunday Shopping Affected On Nov. 11
• Shop or Family?

DeHORNing The BULLies

The web is abuzz on  the sad and tragic story of Amanda Todd, the 15-year old girl who took her own life after being cyber bullied.   you can read it here.

I did a lot of thinking after I read this story, trying to find how bullying could have such devastating effect on someone, not just Amanda.  (Apparently,  Amanda’s life fell apart after she was coerced into flashing her breasts online).

Amanda’s online indiscretion came back to haunt her in a way that she could not deal with.  It followed her to school and everywhere and she responded the way the bullies wanted her to.  She was the perfect victim.   Not everyone  has the mental toughness and attitude to deal with something like this.  Some would shrug it off and tell the bullies to shove it or even call their bluff.  You want to show my boobs on Facebook?  Go right ahead, who cares?  Amanda couldn’t and didn’t and it ate her alive.

Back in my day, bullying was not an issue.  The word ‘bully’ was used casually as in, ‘Leave me alone, you big bully!’  No one was ever accused of actually bullying anyone.  I was called rude names and embarrassed in front of classmates, heck, even my teacher joined in sometimes.  By day’s end, it was all forgotten until the next bullying.   I was never depressed because of it even though it was rather belittling to me.  My wife confessed that she too was bullied because of her early chest development.  Boys would snap her bra and joined the girls in  taunting her.  Again, it was a distant memory by day’s end for her also.   That didn’t mean it was right back then.

In school, I can’t think of anyone who wasn’t harassed or bullied in some way.  Unless it came down to a physical confrontation, it was never an issue and no one complained, not even the victim.

After the tragic fact,  many questions could be asked.  Why didn’t Amanda stay off the computer after being bullied online? Why didn’t she complain to the school authorities? The police, her parent?  All moot now in regards to this poor girl.

Why is bullying getting so dangerous? Are people more insensitive or are our kids overly sensitive?  I don’t know, I am just asking.  Teens everywhere are killing themselves far too often because of bullying.    Why wasn’t this happening years ago?  What changed?  Were we tougher?   Granted, the internet wasn’t around so if a girl bared her breasts, it ended up being her word against those who saw.

In my opinion, our changed society is playing a big part in providing bullies with ammunition they never had before.   Kids cannot deal with not fitting in and being accepted.  Looks are everything.  Self esteem is held together by a thread that falls apart at the first snag.  Computers have provided a breeding ground for a new form of bullying.  Cyber bullies are preying on unsupervised kids with unlimited and uncensored access to websites.  Parents are proud of their 8-year old’s ability to surf the net without assistance.

So how do we change this?  How do we unarmed the bullies and nullify their game?  Anti bullying laws may not be enough.  We could start in our homes. One thing I noticed is that most of the victims are silent until their final act shouts out the fact that they were bullied to death.  Maybe we as parents need to make ourselves and our home a safe haven that our kids can come to with their issues.   We could provide a strong support team that is available to them 24/7, this way they do not feel like they are alone as in Amanda’s case.  She should have never felt that she was alone and had no one to turn to.  Sadly, it’s only after their death that we tell the deceased that we were there for them if only they had come to us.  Maybe in life we did not give them reason to think that way?  Teaching kids to be strong mentally, with respect for themselves and each other is also a step in the right direction.  Although we sometimes cannot control how our children turn out, our homes are usually where it all starts.

We may not be able to actually stop bullying  but we could prepare our children and help them to recognize and deal with all forms of bullying.  Bullying is wrong!  No one should feel the way Amanda did.  If you are a bully or have the tendencies, please seek help.  If you are bullied, never think you are alone.

RIP Amanda!  You were loved!

Never Alone

Related articles

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• Teen girl’s death after posting video about being bullied (thesun.co.uk)
• Not alone: Amanda Todd case emphasises the importance of helping victims of cyberbullying (mirror.co.uk)
• #109: R.I.P. Amanda Todd (fittingkeys.wordpress.com)
• http://abcnews.go.com/International/bullied-teen-amanda-todd-leaves-chilling-youtube-video/story?id=17463266#.UIFLmm_A-Bw