Last year, after dealing with anxiety for some time, I sat down and asked myself, ‘What exactly am I anxious about?” “Why do I keep feeling the way I do?” It wasn’t full-blown anxiety bordering on panic attack type but anxiety all the same. I would have it almost daily and this was the norm for a couple of years. Elevated heart rate, nervousness and just a feeling that I couldn’t shake. It also negatively affected my relationship with my family especially my little ones. It made me edgy and impatient with them.
I got the answers to my questions when I re-evaluated my relationship with God. I am a Christian and have been one for all of my life, in one form or the other. Sometimes, I take this relationship for granted and think to myself, “I love him, I believe in him. He knows this and I know it so I don’t need to do anything else.” False! I did need to keep in step with him. I still needed to walk with him daily. I noticed that my bouts of anxiety took place when I was at my lowest spiritually. I realized that without him in my life, it was empty and without reason and that’s what made me anxious. There it was in a nutshell!
Sin, no matter the size, makes us guilty. With the guilt it becomes hard to go to God. We think, “Oh I messed up. I need to fix this on my own then get back in with God.” We don’t realize that we cannot fix it alone. That’s what he is there for. To fix it. The more we mess up, the further we alienate ourselves from him. I don’t think God runs away from us when we sin, I think that we run from him in guilt like Adam and Eve did when they sinned. We experience fear when that happens because we know his cloak is no longer around us. He is no longer on our boat while we are on the rough seas, so we fear.
With the knowledge that fear comes when God is not around, I was able to adjust my life and keep God in the picture at all times. I even have bible quotes stuck to the walls of my office as reminders. (It’s not what you think. Just a couple or three). I take everything to him in prayer and let me tell you, I haven’t been happier since. When I feel the old anxiety coming back, I ask, “What is there to be anxious about?” The answer is usually “Nothing, God is with you.” I now enjoy my family more and noticed that I am more patient with the kids.
One of my favorite bible verses that is on my wall and which I used to keep me grounded is Galations 5:22. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” I mentally refer to this when I stumble. I ask myself, “Am I bearing these fruits?” and I would go through each of them to see where I am messing up.
Another very apt one that I also have on the wall is “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference”.
I hope this blog was a help to anyone who sometimes feel the way I did. I did not intend to write about this but for some reason, it was what came to mind when I sat down to write. God Bless!
- Overcoming Anxiety – A Personal Testimony (raynigirl.wordpress.com)
- Securing God’s peace during anxiety producing events: Principles, Passages and a Pastoral resource. (adamrumball.com)
- When the wave of anxiety threatens to engulf you… (murmursofmyheart.wordpress.com)
- Causing Me Anxiety (gibsongirl247.wordpress.com)
- Do Not Fear (thewomanatthewell.wordpress.com)
- It’s Your Life; You Only Have One…Use It Or Lose It (Part 2) (scripturenuggets.wordpress.com)