Yoko Ono, wife of famous Beatle John Lennon, is a renowned artist. Well so they would have me believe. Her art is being shown at some prestigious gallery in London. Her latest is three neat piles of dirt. Yes, I did say dirt, of the plain old variety.
Ok, I am being a bit harsh, I am sorry. It wasn’t just the three piles of dirt, there was also a poster with the words, ‘War is over’. There! Yoko Ono’s masterpiece! Well I’ll be damned! The things they call art these days. My poor art teacher would be turning over in her grave right now if she was dead. Wait, is she dead? Who was my art teacher anyways?
Did I also mention that one of Yoko’s past masterpieces is a green apple resting, quite comfortably I might add, on a plexiglass box? Yes, just an ordinary, plain apple relaxing on a box. I should quit with the colorful descriptions as they do make them sound artistic. The skill! What extricate positioning! Oh and if you are wondering, when the apple rots, it is simply replaced by another green apple. Eat your hearts out you would-be artists out there. If artistic abilities were food, Yoko would be the epitome of a starving artist.
To be fair, Yoko Ono is not the only so-called artist churning out masterpieces that look like something your toddler accidentally made. No sir, there are countless others. Some even get grants from the government.
This was a few years ago, right here in Winnipeg:
A Manitoba artist receives $15,000 from the Canada Council to string up dead rabbits
The discovery of 12 decomposing, maggot-ridden rabbits dangling from trees might arouse suspicions in some observers’ minds that a sadist had too much time on his hands. Nevertheless, such a macabre display has attracted hundreds of visitors to the St. Norbert Arts and Culture Centre (SNACC) near Winnipeg. Moreover, the display, entitled “Monstrance,” was made possible with support from the Canada Council for the Arts, which gave 42-year-old Winnipeg artist Diana Thorneycroft a $15,000 grant in June. The exhibit allegedly examines humanity’s reverence for carnality.
Now on that note, I am beginning to entertain the thought of showing off my own lack of artistic prowess. I am a bit twisted and can come up with some masterpieces of my own. A flat tire lying on a bed of roses? Maybe a pair of broken glasses on a pile of manure? How contemporary does that sound? (I really have no clue what contemporary art is but I am a fast learner). I am sure I could conjure up something to tease the taste buds of the art world. I might even be able to secure a government grant. Stay tuned.
To be fairer, maybe it’s me that have a problem recognizing art for what it is. Maybe I am raw and uncultured. In that case, this is just my take.