Hey Winter, you there? Oh there you are! You still haven’t left, have you? Overstaying our welcome are we? Let me get something straight here. This year you have been a real pain in the you-know-where. Hitting us with snow and freezing temperatures continuously. You really dumped on us, didn’t you? Was it something we did? Or say? Was it even us?
Well Winter, I hate to tell you this. Actually I take that back. I am happy to tell you this, your show of strength did no phase me. It didn’t cause me to bow down to my knees in surrender to your onslaught. No, not at all. Instead Mr. Winter, I grew stronger and stronger by your every attack. When you thought you had me down and I would cower indoors, I went out skiing! Yes! I did! I never ever skied before but thanks to you I did. It didn’t stop there. I went ice skating also. First time again. I built snow forts, ski slopes in my yard and actually use your weapons against you. Man did you ever underestimated me! Did you forget I live in Winnipeg? Winnipeg’s nickname is Winterpeg. I’ll let you chew on that for a sec. Ok, enough thinking. You probably thought, “Man did I ever put the ‘Winter’ in Winterpeg then.” Ya you did, you son of a gun!
When I thought you were finally going to pack it in, you came back at us with a ferocity unlike no other, and you weren’t blowing hot air. it was a cold arctic wind coming in from the North packing bone chilling wind chills and creating blizzard-like conditions. Hmmm…Nice, Mr. Winter. Nice! But guess what? I still made it to work. On time. Ha! In your face old man! Granted, some were not so lucky. Or should I say not well-prepared to deal with you. Between you and me, some were just plain idiots who couldn’t adjust themselves to the conditions you created. I saw them on my way to work, their vehicles tossed in ditches or into each other. Some passed me going at unsuitable speeds and I feared that I would succumb to them before you got me. I really didn’t relish dying by friendly fire.
During your reign of terror, I shovelled my driveway so many times that I lost count. Now it’s your turn, Winter. You can clean up after yourself. I am done! No more shoveling, no matter what and where you dump. You can shove-l your own snow, I’ll gladly tell you where to shove-l it.
So Mr. Winter, I want to thank you for a great and epic battle that I would not soon forget. I have gained a lot of experience from it and I hope you have too. We will meet again, that’s for sure but I hope that you have expended all your energy in this all out battle and I will vanquish you easily next time. Please go now and if you meet Ms. Spring-er coming this way, tell her to hurry up. So long Mr. Winter! So long!