Moms vs Dads

Happy Mother’s day to all the mothers.  If I had my way, you would have had a week set aside for us to pay homage to the women who cared unselfishly for us.

Moms are so awesome, aren’t they?  Without them, the world would be filled with wannabe macho men trying to live up to their dads’ expectations.  Ever been to a youth soccer game and listen to the parents of a kid?  The dad would shout in his gruff man voice, “Come on boy! Kick that ball like I showed you in practice!  You could do it!”  Mommy’s little voice would chime in, “Go baby, you are doing great!  Nice work.”

A dad gets home from work to find his 4-year old has made him a card with drawings that he toiled on for hours.  “Daddy look what I made for you!”  He shouts excitedly.  Dad glances at the thing and thought in his mind, What the heck is this? but says, “Good work son,  show it to your mom when she gets home.”   Sure enough mommy is quick to gush over her kid’s handiwork.  “Awww…that’s so sweet.  Look at it!”  And that’s why we love em.

Moms recognize their roles and accept it.  That’s why when a kid is acting up they would say,  “Just you wait until your Dad gets home!”  Dads recognize their roles also and play it well.  If the child does something nice, Dad would say, “Just wait until your Mom gets home and show it to her.”  Because Daddy doesn’t really care about such things that much.  He would add in his mind.

So that’s why we love our mothers.  They keep us in touch with our feminine sides and let us know that it is ok for grown men to cry.  Even if Daddy is watching.  We love you Mommy!  Have a Happy Mother’s Day!

My Take Or Yours?

I have an admission.  I was checking my stats recently and noticed that I had quite a few followers.  I was thrilled!  “Look honey!”  I said to my wife excitedly.  “I have almost 300 followers! I am scared.  What should I write?  How do I please all these people?  I am sure to write something that they don’t like or agree with.  How do I choose ‘safe’ topics?”  “Shut up and just keep writing.”  Was her response.  We were lying in bed so she probably just wanted to be left alone.

My wife’s answer sobered me up and I thought of the reason my blog was called ‘My Vuze’.  It wasn’t because I wanted to write what people were thinking or how they felt about something.  It was my opinion, whether popular or unpopular.  How I felt and what I thought.  If I changed that to satisfy my readers, then I would be dishonest.  I would be misrepresenting my blog.

From reading other WordPress blogs, I know that I am not alone.  Some writers double think the content of their posts so as not to offend anyone or even to attract readers.  If that’s your wish, sure go for it.   Not me.  Life is too short for that.  Granted, I won’t be rude, crude or offensive in any way and there may be a topic or two that I may prefer to steer clear of.  Some of my vuze might seem to clash with my spirituality but trust me, God is the ultimate base for my takes and I never claim to be more than human.

I promise never to doubt myself again. I would tell it like it is.  Or like I think it is.  If you don’t agree, feel free to tell me why you don’t.  Maybe your information can sway my opinion.

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Facebook Fights

Why do people use Facebook as their battleground?  I have read some statuses that were so disgusting that I was ashamed for the person who wrote it.  Seriously folks, why would anyone use Facebook, Twitter or any other social media to attack another?  It’s coward and weak.  Tell them I said so.

I don’t care who you are, if you use Social Media to sling mud at an old flame or old friend you are feuding with, it’s unclassy.  Plain and simple!  And there’s a bunch of us ‘classy’ people who think so too.  If you have a problem with your ex, please keep it between the two of you.  Other than a few gossipers, the rest of us really don’t care to to see your dirty laundry waving in the air.

Last week, one of my Facebook friends who I always thought of as a respectable person, ranted on his status about someone who was apparently giving him grief.  His choice of adjectives muddied his intelligence.  I was shocked and disappointed.  A few days later, another good friend, same thing.  His target was a female and he called her the name of a female productive organ.  His tirade was laden with such descriptive words.  Again I was disappointed by the lack of self-control shown by these people who I thought would know better than to stoop to such a low level and reveal an ignorance previously unseen.

If you feel the urge to berate someone on Facebook, please rethink.  It’s actually not cool and you don’t sound tough.  Some may say it’s downright pathetic, but it’s my take so I won’t say that.  Seriously though, if you can’t say anything nice, say nothing.  There’s an old saying attributed to Abraham Lincoln that goes, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”  You have a problem?  There’s the ‘unfriend’ button or better yet, use the ‘message’ button and let them know how you feel.

Thanks to Facebook, I now know who my smart friends are.

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A Hand For The Dying

What do you give to someone who already has everything?  Some people are stumped by this but I think the answer is ‘your time’.  When a person is rich and has just about everything money can buy, real friends are usually what they need most.  Someone to spend quality time with.  Someone who is not hanging with them because of ulterior motives.  Now, what do you say to someone who is dying?

There’s a young woman in our church who has terminal cancer.  She has been given a short time to live. Before her situation became almost hopeless, it was easy to talk to her.  “Hey, how are you doing?  How is everything? Praying for you.”  It wasn’t awkward.  As soon as it was public knowledge that she her life was numbered, I couldn’t find words to say after ‘hello’.  I wanted to ask her how was everything but then I already knew how everything was.  If someone asked me that while I was sick and dying, I would be tempted to answer with some smart answer like, “Oh I’m fine.  Never felt better.  I am thinking of taking up rock climbing.”  So I don’t ask that.  Saying “I am praying for you” seems acceptable but what if she’s trying to keep her mind of her illness and just enjoy her last days? Can’t I just pray for her without telling her?  So too is “You’ll beat this!” That’s a bit facetious and misleading.

What do you say?  What should I say?  I sometime just place a comforting and reassuring hand on her shoulder and I think that must convey more than words.  In that touch, I let her know that she’s in my thoughts and I’m praying for her.  It also says to keep fighting and “We have your back, kiddo!” So maybe if you are in that situation, a hand on the shoulder could really speak volumes.

In some cases, the very words I hesitate to say could very well be the words that the sick person wants to hear.

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Opening your gifts

 

I was thinking, like I always do, about what I would have liked to be doing instead of doing what I’m doing.  Where would I be and so on and so on.  This thought led to another and another and soon enough, I was thinking about the gifts that we are all born with and how some of these are extraordinary and unique yet they sit in our mental cupboards, unopened.  We are scared to open them as doing so could drastically change our lives the way we knew it.  We are influenced by our peers not to open them or we are too shy.

 

On Christmas morning, parents sit with expectant looks on their faces as they watch their little ones rip at the gift wrappings on their presents.  Cameras are cocked and ready to record the looks of excitement and glee on the little ones faces as they see what is inside.  Upon opening a much-wanted present, all unwrapping comes to an end as the child is now occupied with that one gift.  “Come over here and open the other presents you have under the tree”.  Each present is special and without opening each one, the child would never know if there’s one that trumps his now-prized present.

 

This can be the used to describe our lives.  We choose our paths based on financial reasons, popularity, peer pressure or other.  We settle on that one gift that make us at least comfortable.  We have not explored our other gifts because we feel comfortable ‘settling’ with what we have.  Married with kids and a basically comfortable life, we fear rolling the dice could upset our lives and so our gift, our unique talent is left unopened and unexplored.

What is your talent that sits unopened?  Life is short, rip it open and see where it takes you.

 

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Don’t hate, appreciate the bloggers

Definition of a blog:  : a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer; also : the contents of such a site.  That my readers, is the definition of a blog.  You are thinking, ‘So what’s your point?’ Don’t rush me, I’m getting there.

Too often while surfing blogs, I read this from the blogger, “I am sorry that I am not very good at writing blogs but I’ll get better.”  Not always exactly in those words but an apology all the same.  I don’t know about you but I offer no apologies for the way I write.  I only apologize for errors in my blogs that got past my editing.  When I sit down to write, it’s usually about something that I feel passionate about.  I pour out my emotions into it and for that to be effective, I have to write the way I feel.  I try to convey my feelings to my readers so they too will feel what I feel or felt.  If doing this means taking liberties with the English language, then so be it.  (I get a few likes here and there so it must be getting through).

When I switch roles and go in search of blogs to read, the ones that often keep my attention are those loosely written, without language boundaries and laws of writing.  I am not saying that I enjoy reading some half-baked blog laden with spelling errors and poor grammatical structure, but when basic rules are thrown out in favor of a good presentation, I am all for that.  You understand what I am trying to say?  Then it’s fine with me.

Now as readers, we look for blogs that satisfies our thirst for whatever topic we are looking for.   We often get judgmental and accused the writers for failing to deliver if we are not satisfied in this regard. What we fail to note is that the writer is baring their soul for us.  This is the meat of the blog, the invite to come in and dine with the writer.  They share their innermost thoughts, feelings and desires.  When we criticize, we are crushing their hopes, trivializing their dreams.

I write as an outlet for my thoughts.  Of course I love to have readership and I enjoy a following but foremost is my need to get my thoughts out.  I could construct sentences with strong grammatical structure but boring and unappealing presentation, with the best of them but it’s not me.  I would rather not blog. ‘I saw a man today’ just doesn’t have the same ring as ‘Guess what I saw today?  Yes, a man!’  A few contractions thrown in for good measure goes a long way too.  I have no dreams of a book deal or being found and this enables me to write without constrictions and restrictions.  Get it out there, make sure they could understand everything and move on to the next blog.  That’s my motto.

So next time we feel the urge to dissect someone’s blog, let’s remember that we are privileged to be sharing their personal head space.  Don’t hate, appreciate.

For those of you who make a living with your blogs, I realize that your T’s have to be crossed and your I’s dotted as your career depends on it. For the casual bloggers like me who dare not dream, blog happily away!

Just my take.