Poor Old Man
After much hesitation, I think it’s time to finally face the stark naked truth. I am being robbed, slowly. This is not a joke, I am alerting the authorities (whoever they are) that someone, somehow, is breaking into my marble stash. I am losing marbles on a steady basis. First it was more like a slow leak, barely noticeable but now it’s hard not to notice. This is not an excuse for my being a half wit or a bit on the loopy side. I swear that has nothing to do with it. Listen up.
A few days ago, I went out shopping at Toys R Us. I needed some help in an area of the store and went to beckon a Salesperson. She asked what area of the store and after a pause I said, ‘Oh over there in the TOYS’ SECTION.’ She calmly re-educated me on the fact that it was a TOYS STORE but her looks and tone said ‘Don’t be a smartass’ or ‘were you kicked in the head as a child?’ or something to that effect. I didn’t open my mouth after that.
Then while driving with my co-worker, (who just had to be there for my Toys R Us experience) I tried cleaning my windshield, only to find out I was out of washer fluid. I kept pressing the washer button to no avail. Good thing I am not the giving up type. After a few hundred pushes, I noticed something odd. The headlight ‘bright’ sign on the dash kept coming on when I pressed the button. This turned into a aha! moment as I then realized the washer button was actually on the other side. Don’t you just hate it when the buttons play games like that? Happens all the time.
Well my Groundhogish kind of day wasn’t quite over yet. Our next stop was at a restaurant for lunch. The specialty was burgers, to my delight. I spent 5 minutes with the waitress telling her what toppings I would like on my burger and what kind of cheeses. As she walked away, my senility kicked in. I stopped her dead in her tracks with ‘Hey! Excuse me but does that burger come with cheese?’ Hey! gimme a break! Some burgers don’t and you have to let them know you want cheese on them…Oh never mind, I DID order cheese. Anyways, the understanding waitress gave me somewhat the same look that I got from the Saleswoman at. ‘Smartass! or were you kicked in the head?’. Then she smiled at me.
Thankfully after that, I was fine. Then, this morning, I was reading a blog by a writer that I have been following for some time, www.mommysaidaswearword.wordpress.com. it suddenly occurred to me that her blog name was mommy said a swear word. (I bet you noticed that right off the bat). I guess I never gave my brain time to process the information when I first read it a while back. I thought at first that it was ‘mommy said we are the world‘ and maybe she had purposely left out a few words or maybe she was missing a few marbles herself. Then I came up with ‘mommys aid as we are world’. I quit after that one. For some reason, I just could not wrap my head around this small enigma. Couldn’t see the forest for the trees so to speak. I never paid it much attention until this morning when I decided to play word games with it to pass the time and that’s when I solved the darn thing. (By now, you are probably also reading this with that same look I got by the waitress and salesperson, except yours probably say ‘You poor man, you are just getting old. My great grandpa was exactly the same way. Don’t worry, it gets worse.’ If you are, then thanks a lot!)
I am someone who hold on to his possessions with a tenacious grip so losing marbles is not something I would do willingly. I am sure they are being taken against my will. Of course it’s against my will!