Daddy, The Human Garburator
Do your kids spend way too much time at the dinner table? Do they take forever to eat a few bites? Do they, for the most part, hate eating anything that wasn’t picked up at Macdonald’s or delivered? Then unknowing to you, this could be causing you to pack on some unwanted pounds. Yes, your skinny kids could be making you fat!
Last night, while at the Caribbean Pavilion for Folklorama, My two oldest and I went to get some food after a hectic performance (more on that in another blog). Mikhail and Kenyan both assured me that they were fine with having their own plates. (After getting the server to give them a free sample). For simplicity, the server offered to pile everything on my plate to make it easier to take back to the table. She was even nice enough to add extras. It pays to have cute kids.
At our table, Kenyan suddenly realized that he hated salad and Mikhail could not stand the peas that were in the rice. He could not understand why there were rice in a rice-and-peas dish. They agreed to eat a few pieces of chicken but nothing else. Actually Mikhail ventured to eat some salad because he ‘likes the dip’. I was left with a heaping plate of tantalizing food in front of me. I went to work. I had to hurry and make a dent before anyone saw me making a pig of myself. I don’t think my explanation would have had much effect. So you are eating like a pig because your kids don’t eat?
For breakfast this morning, the two oldest opted for mini wheat cereal while Treyton wanted cheerios. I made them generous helpings as they instructed and made one for myself as well. Kenyan again was the first to find something that hindered his ability to complete his breakfast. He did not want milk in his cereal! Well I should have known. Milk in cereal? Gross! Who came up with such a thing?
Mikhail’s excuse was that there were too much loose wheat in his bowl. Loose wheat? Wheat loose? In milk? Another tragic case. And what’s wrong with your cheerios, Treyton? Thankfully, all he needed was for Daddy to feed him the final few spoonfuls.
So in a much too familiar scenario, here I was again with the boys’ unfinished food in front of me while I was already in the middle of eating mine. When would I ever learn? In auto-pilot, I dumped both bowls into my bowl, who cares if I was eating a different cereal? This time it wasn’t nearly as tantalizing. I ate it all.
Unfinished pizzas, burgers, chicken, ice-cream, cakes, you name it. Some foods I love, some not so much but they all end up on my plate and it’s my job to see that they disappear. Even mommy now says, ‘Daddy will finish it’ whenever the boys leave their half-eaten meals lying around. I think from now on, when I get the boys their meals, I should not get a plate for myself but just sit at the table and wait like a hungry dog or an idle garburator. Sooner or later, the food will come. Oh yes it will. It always does.
Unfortunately, so too does the weight.
- My name is Sam, and I’m a porn addict. (sexyflexi.wordpress.com)
- cereal eating (shortlittlebits.com)
- Bless this food and help me to eat it!
- Food Glorious food!