My Takes

It's Just My Take

Fostering, the final chapter


Some of you who have been following my family blogs will know that in addition to our three kids, we also have a teen-aged foster son.  In some of my earlier blogs, I wrote about the difficulties of having a foster kid who obviously didn’t want to be fostered.  After trying our best to make a difference by integrating him into our family and making him feel loved, we finally decided that it was time to admit defeat.

Maybe we were not fully equipped to deal with a teenager when our kids were five years old and under.  Maybe, as a few people ventured, he was just being a typical teenager.  To the latter I say, not in my house.  No ‘typical teenager’ behavior allowed under my roof.  Maybe I am not a typical parent and don’t understand the new-aged-typical teenager thing, for that I offer no apologies.  Maybe we over estimated the power of love.

After a few previous half-hearted attempts to put him back into the care of CFS, we finally decided that in our family’s best interest and his, it was time to part ways.  We were no longer doing anyone any favors by tenaciously holding on to something that was no longer there.  My wife and I gave it our all, at times sacrificing our own kids.

I won’t go into details but it was a stressful roller coaster ride for sixteen months.  Inexperience and lack of training made it difficult for us to deal with a problem kid.

We will always love him and wish the best for him.  We hope that he ends up getting the help that he desperately needs to help him go through life before it’s too late.

Related blogs:

That’s just how teenagers are

Foster parenting





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2 thoughts on “Fostering, the final chapter

  1. This is a sad story. You always hear the successes, but no one ever talks about the foster/adoption stories that don’t have happy endings. It sounds like you poured yourselves into this boy and he just didn’t want it. That’s very heartbreaking, and I’m sure you did not come to this decision lightly. I hope he gets the help he needs, too. Thanks for sharing.

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