Excuse me, can I squeeze your buns?
Some call it a fetish, others use words like obsession and sickness, worthy of an intervention. I just simply say ‘I love bread’. LOVE IT! What’s not to love about that glorious and heavenly smell of freshly-baked bread? (I think I can actually hear harps when I smell bread). Coat it with a bit of butter and watch as it melts, leaving a smooth sheen…mmmm….
It all started back when I was a little boy growing up in a village on the island of St. Vincent. My Granny would bake bread in an oven made from an oil drum. The smell of fresh bread would assail my nostrils almost every Saturday and holidays. It was the best smell ever and I was instantly drawn to it. Since then, I was bought, owned and whipped like a ‘yes man’. Bread became my Achilles heel.
You know how in most cases, the smell of food is not justified by its taste? Well not so with fresh homemade bread. The taste is just as good as the smell. Mmmm…I could never get enough.
When my wife has no choice but to take me shopping, I would disappear from her side the moment we walk through the doors. She always knows where to find me, the bread aisle of course. I’ll be there randomly squeezing bread and mentally drooling over their softness. Sometimes I would take one to her. “Honey, feel this! Just squeeze it! Wow! Soft eh?”…oooh.” She would give the bread a courtesy squeeze just to satisfy my boyish excitement. One time, or was it twice? I actually squeezed a shopper’s bread in a checkout line. It begged to be squeezed so I obeyed. Was it soft? YES!
I could go on and on about my love for bread. It is my ultimate weakness. Bread hot out of the oven makes me weak in the knees. There’s no hope for me. I love Pizza Hut’s pizzas, why? Because they are more bread than toppings. Salad and bread sticks at Olive Garden is usually bread sticks and bread sticks. My friends all know about my
fetish addiction. I have been called names such as Bread Basket and Bread Squeezer as far back as I can remember. One of our exchange students from Brazil, sent me a soft rubber bun for me to squeeze.
Do I have a bread maker? You bet I do, been married to her for almost…what? Oh you meant an automatic bread maker. Sorry but Yes to that too.
I recently posted some fresh bread photos on Facebook. It has almost 30 likes and keeps growing, so I can assume that I am not alone in my passion for flour. Here are some of the comments:
- Ahhh the smell of freshly baked bread (poppytailsandtrails.com)
- Why This Mom Wishes She Could Perfect the Art of Baking Bread (everydayfamily.com)