Forgetting Who Your Kids Are And Sometimes Who You Are.
Do you sometimes forget who your kids are? No, not their names, we all do that. I am talking about forgetting that they are kids. Just kids.
I have forgotten who my kids are many times. “Kenyan, sit down and be quiet!” I would often say to my 4-year old. He would promptly obey but a few moments later, would be back to whatever was offending Daddy. It’s not that he’s flagrantly ignoring my order but more like he’s just being a 4-year old kid. And seriously, do I really want any of my kids to sit quietly like robots? They do that when they are sick and it makes me long for them to be themselves. Run around and make noise and interrupt me when I’m on the phone or when I’m busy.
We put all these lofty expectations on our kids. We expect them to come out of mommy’s womb well-behaved. To act like grown ups. “Sit down and be quiet!” Did we sit down and shut up as kids? Well some of us still need to sit down and shut up as adults.
How about forgetting who we are? Do you forget who you are? Or for some of us, who we were? For some strange and unexplained reason, our kids tend to inherit our traits. Bad or good. Here’s a prime example.
My 6-year old son has the annoying habit of rubbing the back of our arms or playing with our ears. Just his brothers’ and mommy’s and daddy’s. No one else thankfully. He sits or lies there all quiet and contented while feasting on our ears and arms. He loves it when we wear tee shirts because our arms are exposed. His brothers don’t seem to notice but it irritates the heck out of Amie and I.
I didn’t have a clue where or how he got this silly habit until one day I caught myself playing with Amie’s ears and rubbing her arms. Yes! I was doing it too! And was doing long before Mikhail came along! I even do it to the boys! Yesterday in response to Mommy telling Mik to get lost and leave her arm alone, he said he loved to feel the coolness of the skin on the ears and the back of the arms. Between the two of us, that was/is my reason also. Somebody help me! And my son also please!
So why was I so mad at him for mirroring me? I get mad at him for being a kid THEN I get mad at him for being me. Our poor kids…
If your kids like to talk a lot. Maybe you are not exactly the quiet one yourself. Has annoying habits? Checked your own habits lately? You might be surprised where he got it from. Sometimes being kids are not acceptable by us parents. But sometimes being us is not either…Lest we forget.
Note: This blog does not endorse rude and obnoxious behavior from children. Please exercise common sense.