I Want To Sing!
I love to sing. I especially love singing Gospel music. When I sing my calypsos at venues around the city, it’s different than singing in church. In church it’s not about how I sound, (Well to an extent). It’s about HIM. When I sing at a festival, give me props. (I will then divert those props to their rightful owner). When I sing in Church, give HIM props. It’s not about me anymore. There’s nothing like singing a song so touching that you can see people crying while they take it in. The fact that you are singing a song about something and someone you believe in, gives it more meaning and credibility.
This past weekend, I sang with the Praise and Worship team for the first time since attending that church, after practicing with them on Saturday morning. (Shame on me!) It was a great experience hanging with some of the guys who I see in church every Sunday but really never got past the head nods and the obligatory good mornings.
Saturday morning I got up way too early, as per the email from the team leader, to attend the practice session. I was out of bed hours before my voice was. What would they think of me and my early morning croak? I thought to myself. Ah, they are fellow Christians and not supposed to judge anyways so I should be ok.
Sunday’s worship team rotation would consist of 5 guys, including me. Two of them I had already gotten past the nods and good mornings. The other two, we quickly got past that mental hump. The session was a breeze. Croak and all. They were nice enough to not seem to notice that my breathing was a little off in the early going and embarrassingly, I was not overly acquainted with a couple of the songs. I know…I missed a few too many Sundays.
I left practice feeling pumped and exhilarated. Singing praises would do that to you. I was ready for Sunday worship. A bit nervous I confess but still ready. On Sunday, as I sang with the team, I felt a feeling of belonging. For the first time since I started attending church, I felt like I was part of something. Is this what I was missing all along? Looking back, I think I always felt like I was still on the outside looking in. Since I was not an active member, it was not ‘my church’.
There are a lot of church-going folks who are quite satisfied with sitting in their personalized chairs every Sunday, listening to the pastor, engaging in that obligatory nod and ‘good mornings’. That’s all fine and dandy. To each his own, but to actually feel like a part of something, you have to take part in something. That’s not my take, that’s a fact. On Sunday, it felt different. So different that… I just want to sing!