My Takes

It's Just My Take

Archive for the category “People”

Marriage Ain’t What It Used To Be

Cambodian wedding

Cambodian wedding (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Remember when marriage was a sacred thing and involved extended courtship followed by an engagement?  Not anymore.  Marriage is a joke now, hardly worth the paper it’s written on.  Courtship? What’s that? Ain’t nobody got time for that!  In fact there is even a reality show called ‘Marriage At First Sight’.

“Married at First Sight” is an extreme social experiment that follows six brave singles yearning for a life-long partnership as they agree to a provocative proposal: getting legally married to a complete stranger the moment they first meet. Four specialists – sexologist, Dr. Logan Levkoff; psychologist, Dr. Joseph Cilona; sociologist, Dr. Pepper Schwartz; and spiritual advisor, Greg Epstein – create what they believe are three perfect couples, based on scientific matchmaking. The couples will not meet until they walk down the aisle and see each other face-to-face, for the first time, at the altar. Over the course of several weeks, episodes capture each couple’s journey as they go from wedding, to honeymoon, to early nesting, to the daily struggle of working on their marriage. After several weeks together, each couple must make a decision: do they remain together or decide to divorce?

Do you believe this?  Are you still wondering why this place is so messed up? Beam me up, Scotty. Quick!


It’s The Nature Of Their Jobs

English: Gatso mobile speed camera mounted on ...

English: Gatso mobile speed camera mounted on a 2004–2006 Toyota Corolla (ZZE122R 5Y) Ascent station wagon, photographed in Geelong, Victoria, Australia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes we are so hard on those who are tasked with the unpleasant job of making our lives hard.  The guy sitting in the parked car taking photos of us as we speed past, disobeying the posted speed limit, the repossession agent or repo man taking our 60″ flat screen television that we ‘forgot’ to make the monthly payments on, that a**hole boss who picks on us when just because we take too long on our breaks or even the math teacher who dares to tell us that our Ivy league kid is failing math.  We hate them and sometimes take out our frustrations on them, but they are only doing their jobs.  Yes, even that poor lonely sap sitting in the speed trap car.

If we stopped and think about it, none of these people started their day thinking, “I am going to be an a**hole today.” No, they are like you and me. Just earning a dollar doing what they are paid to do. If we get mad, then they are doing a darn good job and deserve a raise. How about the the defense lawyer fighting for the rapist who cruelly and viciously violated our young daughter? Well he too is just doing what he’s paid to do.  We really don’t hate on them much though, do we? Maybe we should.

But then again, that’s just MY TAKE


It’s Not You, It’s Me

I find that I generally have low expectations of people.  This way when they over-excel and prove me wrong, I am pleasantly surprised and thankful that there are good people out there.  And I like surprises!  Personal experiences have taught me not to expect too much of anyone.  In fact, they taught me to be downright distrusting until trustworthiness is proven.  But don’t worry, it’s not you, it’s me and my trust issues.  And also, MY TAKE

A Tale Of Two Moms

Follow the link below the read the take of a woman on same-sex marriage.  She was raised by two lesbian moms in a loving and caring environment.  Interesting and food for thought.


Never Judge A Book By Its Cover, A Classic Example Why.

I believe in the saying ‘Never judge a book by its cover’ but sometimes, I can’t help being human and I make the mistake of judging someone based on their outward appearance.  I know, I shouldn’t and you shouldn’t either.  Here’s a really good reason.

After filling up at a gas bar on the weekend, I went inside a store to pay.  The clerk, a young black man with a mohawk haircut and lines etched in his short beard, was chatting on the phone with his buddy, discussing plans for the evening. I stood for what seemed like a couple of minutes but was actually maybe 20 to 30 seconds.  Granted, he should have put his friend on hold immediately when I got to the counter.  As I listened to his chatter, I deduced from his looks that he was the gangsta-ish type. Why are these people even in a customer service job? I thought to myself. Inside, I was already putting up barriers to deal with this punk.

When he came over to attend to me, he asked if the gas was all I was getting.  The usual generic question. I wasn’t fooled. My barriers were still up. Punk! With no customer service skills whatsoever!  “How is your day going so far?” Asked the punk in a genuinely caring voice. Say what? Maybe it’s just a trick. I was cautious in my response and also asked him how his day was.  We had a small conversation about the day, work, and even Christmas traditions!  He was a nice guy!  With great customer service!  Maybe just a little slow on getting off the phone but other than that, a good punk.

I felt badly as I walked out the store, wondering if he had seen my demeanor when he first approached me.  Could that be why he asked how my day was?  Not so good.  I just judged you because of how you looked.  If only I was judged on my looks sometimes…

So You Want To Free Your Nipples?

I can tell you why but it's kinda obvious

I can tell you why but it’s kinda obvious

I understand that we are remaking and rebranding our society.  I understand that to do this, we need to make some drastic, questionable and sometimes ridiculous changes to what we once held sacred.  We need to be a more accepting society, we need to make everyone happy, change ‘Christmas’ to ‘holiday’, take bibles out of schools, yes, I totally understand.  It’s a inconvenient necessity.

Gone are the days when egotistical men armed with personal agendas opened doors for the ‘weaker sex’.  How rude of them!  Equality for all! We need a non-gender specific world where men and women are free to roam around shirtless. Yes, in fact, we need an non-gender world period! It’s time we get with the times! Let’s raise our sons to be ‘its’ let them wear pink dresses, flaunt their freedom of choices, let our daughters show their nipples. Free The Nipples!

Of course it’s a travesty.  Why shouldn’t women bare their chests to the delight of men?  If Miley Cyrus, Madonna, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj and a bunch of other highly respected celebrities are in on it, then why shouldn’t we take notice?

I am sorry but I can only maintain my sarcasm for so long.  Of course the idea is utterly ridiculous!  I am not against women fighting for some form of equality like equal pay, but sacrificing your self-respect to fight for something like showing your privates in public is definitely not the way to go.  You will get noticed for sure but not the way you want or is it the way you want?  What next? Don’t answer that.  The unification of the bathroom? I hate to break the news to you women but when it comes to gender, the sex detector has determined that you ARE indeed a woman.  Be proud of it.  Accept the difference, yes there is a difference.  Free your mind, not your nipple.  And that’s just My Take.

I Am Not African-American But I Am Black Though

Remember Raven-Symone? She played Olivia on The Cosby Show. Apparently Raven does not like to be labelled an African-American or Gay for that matter. (She is in a gay relationship).  On a recent episode of Oprah, Raven rejected the notion that she is an African-American.  “I don’t know what country in African I’m from” she added.  Oprah warned her that she could be taking flack for such comments. (By the way, she’s not from any country in Africa).

Now Symone is wrong and Symone is right.  Labels are what is wrong with us as a society.  Labels create distinctions and groups.  It causes boundaries.  Boundaries cause us to hate, fear or reject those who are not of the same label as we are. That’s why there’s gay bashing and racism and bullying.  Yes it’s unfair because labels are also what makes us unique and special.  Our race and individuality should be embraced, not hidden for fear of rejection.  African-Americans have a rich history.  Being African-American is something to be proud of. Being white, Asian or otherwise is also something to be proud of.  Something to embrace and practice.

I understand where Symone is coming from. Do I agree? Yes and no.  That’s her take and this is mine.  Please note that Africa is a place that my fore-parents came from.  I am black but not an African. If I were an African, then a white person whose roots date back to England would be a British-Canadian. Right? And that’s My Take.

It’s All About Attitude Of Gratitude

An old co-worker always used the term, “It’s all about attitude of gratitude” and I never really grasped the full meaning of it until later.  I grew up in the Caribbean and experienced first hand what it was to be poor. Because of this, I grew up very appreciative of whatever small token I was given, whether goods or services.  I never fail to express my gratitude.  Sometimes I admit that I get carried away and get lost in the thank you’s, repeating it so that the recipient of my gratitude would get the idea that I was honestly grateful.  (Thank you is so generic that I often think my sincerity is lost) I sometimes wonder if maybe I should go a bit lighter on the expressions of gratitude so as not to come off as weird.  Last week at work for example, I was feeling so thankful for my new job that I had a sudden urge to send a thank you email to the HR lady who hired me. I gave in to that urge and thanked her profusely for the opportunity to work for her company.  Yes, I did feel a bit silly afterwards but my heart was in the right place.

Many feel that favors and handouts are owed to them, hence expressing gratitude is not warranted.  Wrong attitude.  Remember, as my friend said, it’s all about attitude of gratitude. At this Thanksgiving time, take the opportunity to reflect on the things in life that you are truly thankful for.  Not the cars and houses but the little things. The job that provides the cars and houses, the HR lady who hired you, the person who holds a door for you, the irritating friend who although irritating, is really a true friend, your family, your spouse, the cashier at  your favorite store who does a thankless job of making your day just by being nice. Thank her.  So many little and seemingly insignificant people working behind the scene, playing a big role in our existence. Thank you, thank you so much. Really really much. Thank you again, really appreciate all you do. Did I say how grateful I am? Thanks!  If you are a Christian, remember to thank the BIG GUY who makes it all possible. Thank  you God!

And you, have a Happy Thanksgiving!


I Am Not A Racist But Those Indians…

As a person of color, a black man, I have heard it all.  The veiled racist comments, the not-so-veiled ones, the ill-timed apologies for saying something that had racial undertones for fear it would offend me, yes I have heard it.  What always gets to me though is when someone says to me,  “I am not racist but I can’t stand those Indians!” Then they go into a rant about the ‘lazy and drunk Natives’.  No racism there.  I feel so much better knowing that at least they could stand me, which makes them no racist.

I am sorry, well not really sorry, but if that’s how you feel about ANY race, then here’s your card, you are racist and ignorant!  Oops, pardon my directness. Well not really pardon. You see, racism is not always black and white, it’s a racial thing. Every human is from a race, one can’t pick and choose which race they accept and which they don’t, after all, we are all from the same race when it boils down to it.  The Human Race.

It’s usually just My Take but I have a feeling those ‘Indians’ feel the same way as I do…

Don’t Apologize For Your Kids Being Kids, We Were Kids Too.


The above picture is of a goodie back that was handed to airline passengers by a mom who was pre-apologizing for her child in-flight baby noises.  Just in case.  My wife who was flying on the plane was given one and she was taken aback that this mom felt the need to go to such lengths.

Sometimes in church, my boys get antsy from sitting on the not-too-comfortable chairs.  They start doing what kids their ages to, be kids their ages.  My first instinct is usually to tell them to behave like good kids. Well how exactly does a good kid behave? Like a robot? Or I when they are running around the house, I would start with, “Why can’t you behave like a…” Like a what? A grown up? A teenager? Time enough for that later in life.  Right now it’s all about exercising their status as kids.  Yes, I know, within reason.  The same reasons that we stayed within when we were kids. Remember those times? We were so quiet on planes and buses. Not a peep out of us.  Look at us now, frowning at other parent’s kids. “How dare she let her baby cry? Or stand? Or move? Or breathe?”

I feel for this parent who had to resort to this.  It’s not her fault and it’s not the fault of the kid.  Airline passengers have to deal with terrorists, drunk and unruly flyers, the least they could do is tolerate the temporary wailing of a newborn baby exercising its healthy lungs. If they can’t, then maybe they are the ones needing to handout goodie bags to the poor kids who have to share space with people like that.

And you know what? If my kid is disrespectful to you, I would apologize and have a ‘talk’ with him.  If my kid cries in your presence, don’t look at me for an apology, there would be none coming.  In fact, don’t even look at me because I know what you would be thinking…

But that’s just My Take, no offense.

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Son, hit em back!


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