My Takes

Just my humble opinion…

Archive for the tag “Musings”

She’s In Love With The Boy, Or Is She?

While at a recent Garth Brooks concert, his wife Trisha Yearwood was singing her hit song, ‘She’s In Love With The Boy’ and as she sang, my mind wandered, as it is wont to do.  It wanders all the time, even while wandering.  It wandered this, “Pretty soon that song won’t be politically correct”.

You are probably going, “Why wouldn’t it be?  What cheap drugs are you on now?” Well think of the way our society is going.  He is she and she is he or both.  Where we once made do  with male and female washrooms for a two-gendered world, we are now adding a third for those not under this umbrella.  The ‘both’ group.  See where I am going with this?  I can’t hear you!

If you are still in a fog, let me aid your defogging.  Gender identity is slowing becoming non-existence or a non-issue. (Too bad I can’t say the same for race).  There’s no longer a clear distinction.  We are slowly dispensing of the systems that identified us as men or women.   Inclusivity is the order of the day.  (I still remember LGBTQ when it was just LG).

Saying all that, it won’t be long before someone asks the question, “Why are all these love songs about a boy and a girl?  What about the gays and lesbians?” Yes, what about them? Why are we eager to change and be more accepting yet it’s still a hidden taboo to sing about a man in a relationship with another man? Or a woman in a relationship with another woman? How come the ‘Kiss Cam’ at sports game never zoom in on an obviously lesbian or gay couple?  Is it that deep down, we really want HER to be in love with the BOY?

Just another one of MY TAKE

 

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Who Are You?

Do I know you? Do you know you? That may be the better question.  Everyone wants everyone to be like…yes, everyone but themselves. Why can’t you be like so-and-so? As a young kid, my aunt wanted me to be like The Baileys.  The Baileys were our upper-class family friends, quite naturally, their kids were classy and well-mannered.  At least in the public eye.  My aunt didn’t know they farted without saying excuse me.

There is so much conversation on young people being forced or pressured to look and act a certain way.  As parents we resent and discuss this with disgust but in many ways we are guilty of setting the trend.  How many of us ask our halves to be different?  “Honey, why can’t you be like this?  Do it for me.  Wear this…”  I have seen it in friends who were once wild and free with independent minds, becoming zombie-like as they lose their own identity and take on that of their other halves.  They just melded.

Sometimes a change is good.  Your wife finally gets you to loosen up and try something you have never tried before, you did and found out you loved it!  In fact, you are a natural at it!  This does not change who you are.  It just means you have added something new to what makes you.  Kudos to the wifey!  Life is a life-long learning experience.  You sometimes learn that you are not one-dimensional after all!  I for one have found out I like chips after all! Thanks honey!

On the flipside, I have seen my once-funny friends get involved with Debbie Downers and turned into Boring Bobs.  (Isn’t it funny that it rarely works the other way?).  A happy you is the real you are and being anything other than that is compromising or rejecting the very things that characterize who are you.

Don’t be like the Baileys or anyone else for that matter.  Be YOU, but first, find out who you really are.

 

 

 

 

DST

Image result for daylight savingsIn this hectic world where we wish daily that we had one more hour in our days, losing an hour is a big deal.  When it’s done on a Sunday morning where the next day is the much-dreaded and hated Monday, it’s an even bigger deal.

It’s becoming increasingly clear that this tactic has ran its course but the decision-makers continue to flog this dead horse.  Maybe they just don’t want to admit defeat.  Saying this,  I have a work-around that could make this DST work and benefit everyone.  Make the change on a weekday, preferably Monday, at about 3pm!

How would that benefit everyone?  Well when the time changes on a Sunday, employees show up to work tired and unproductive.  That’s if they do turn up, some prefer to call in sick.  If the time goes forward an  hours closer to the end of their work day, employees get to leave on hour earlier AND start their evening chores earlier too! It’s almost as if they gained an hour! It’s all in the mind of course because really, who doesn’t want to leave work early? Happy employees=production=happy employers.

Thank me later.

Are You A Cynic Too?

So I have been diagnosed as a cynic. Well it’s not a legit diagnosis done by a qualified doctor or anything like that.  In fact, it’s not even a medical condition. It’s a self diagnosis borne out of the realization I am a person who takes everything with a grain of salt.  Everything!  Ever seen those people who reach for the salt as soon as their food is brought to them, without even doing a taste test? Well that’s me.  Except for the food part.

What am I cynical about? Every darn thing! See above.  Take for example the good old tried and true recommendation that one should hide underneath a door frame during a hurricane.  Do I believe that?  Nope.  I saw photos of Haiti after it was hit by an earthquake.  Not once did I see a doorway just standing there, in the middle of the carnage. Not one doorway!  Indonesia, no intact and untouched doorway there either. In fact, in all of the photos of earthquake devastation, I have yet to see proof that this works.  That’s not the only example of my cynicism though. There’s more. A lot more.

I am also a cynic of political promises.  Do  you really think I believe one word uttered by those smiling, well-dressed politicians? No way Jose! Why do I vote for them?  I do because I am tired of listening to the ‘If you don’t vote you blah blah blah’.  Newsflash! They are all the same.  And if you don’t believe that, show me solid proof that they aren’t.  I didn’t think so.  Just like that phantom doorway…

You are probably thinking that I have to be positive about something right? Maybe world peace.  Lmao! World Peace? Isn’t that an oxymoron? I do pray for world peace but I know that this would never be achieved.  Not while humans walk the earth.  End to racism? Sure, when pigs fly.  While humans of different color, class or creed share the planet, never happen.

So you get the picture, I am as cynic as they come.  Are you one too? Or do you share and like Facebook posts that promise blessings and winnings if you like or share?

I join the masses in praying for the stuff that I am cynical because cynic or not, you never know, and I have had misplaced cynicism before.   I do, however, cover the spread.  I pray harder for patience to deal with the undesired stuff that comes to me. Understanding to discern why it is happening and strength to deal with it.  I also pray for a small portion of the faith that Job exhibited in the Bible.  Without it, all is lost, cynical or not.

 

My Take

Don’t Let Your Badness Stop Your Goodness and Make You Lose Your Happiness

As I sat in the pew last Friday, attending my second funeral in as many months, I reflected on how final death was.  It was the funeral of a close family friend, she was only 46.  The celebration ran long as there were a total of 10 speakers, each sharing stories of the awesome person whose ashes lay before me.  Gone too soon.

I thought of how we sometimes live our lives as though we have a lot of years ahead of us.  Even though we greet each other at funerals with the same, “Oh life is so short, let’s not meet like this anymore.” that sentiment is usually forgotten before we are even done gorging on the funeral food.

Life is indeed too short and even though we have all these memes and sayings that remind us not to worry or sweat the small stuff, it’s all just hogwash.  We worry about past mistakes and screw-ups wasting valuable time regretting what we did to our best friends, our families and ourselves.  What we did in Vegas that stayed in Vegas…  The time we got drunk and experimented with drugs… Sometimes we even worry about the good things we did!  We spoke the truth and it resulted in us being alienated by family and friends, so we worry and stress about that too!

Last time I checked, worrying never fixed or changed anything.  Wishing you could turn back time is not going to change what happened.  So you did something bad stuff, who hasn’t?   Life is an ongoing lesson.  We never stop learning until we die, so learn from what you did.

Maybe you never intended to egg your neighbor’s house as you are a nice person.  You are anti-drugs but you did it anyways the night you got wasted.  What would your friends and family think if they only knew?  Maybe the same thing you would think if you only knew what they did. What you did is done so you might as well add it to your unplanned/accidental bucket list and scratch it off.  The thing is, a person’s worth is not judged by what they did but who they are.  I have seen pastors who were once incarcerated. Lives turned around for the better.  Don’t worry about your past, worry about your present. Did you learn from it?  Are you a better person because of it?  Then you are a success, not a failure.

As you lay dying, the only worry you should have is if your family would be ok.  Anything else is a waste of RAM.

 

 

The Eyes See What The Heart Wants To See

I really need to work on being a bit more observant especially to things happening around me as apparently I miss quite a lot! Take Superbowl 50 for example, I miss important stuff! World changing stuff! People being racist stuff!

Ok, what are you ranting about now, Carlos? Glad you asked, and if you must know, I just found out that while I was being entertained by the half-time show featuring Coldplay, Beyonce and Bruno Mars, I was also unknowingly watching a public display of racism put on by Bey.  Yup.  In a nutshell.

I wasn’t exactly a willing participant, mind you.  In fact, until the day after, I had no clue that her performance was laden with racial implications advertising her support for the Black Panther movement and Malcolm X.  Man, do I ever feel foolish! I had to find out on social media! To be honest, I also missed the guy dancing behind Mark Ronson! The thing went viral!

I enjoyed the half-time show. I saw a darn good performance by a black woman. Not that I cared if she was black or white. I wanted to see her perform so when she did, I was totally into the performance. I missed the racist allusions and in fact, didn’t even notice that she along with her dancers, were clad in bullet-proof vests! Oh my! I must be getting old. Not saying she didn’t, but I missed it!

You see, the eyes see what the eyes want to see.  Take the photo below for example.  It’s of an expired snowman in my neighbor’s yard.  If your heart is so inclined, you could see a phallic symbol. Maybe that would be reason to pay a visit to the neighbors and maybe accuse them of public mischief? Indecent exposure? If you go looking behind rocks, of course you would find all kind of nasty and dangerous things.

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What does your heart want you to see?

I looked at the half-time show with my heart set on enjoying some good performances, not too look for connotations and hints.  And that’s why I missed it!

And that’s also, MY TAKE

Random act of kindness

Have you watched or read the news lately? Not too much good stuff, is it? In fact it’s downright depressing.  Slowly eroding your belief in your fellow human beings. Well don’t despair, there are still quite a lot of good people out there.  Like the one I ran into yesterday.

While waiting in line at my favorite coffee shop, the guy behind me tapped me on the shoulder and asked me what I was getting.  Suspicious by nature, I guardedly told him I was getting a coffee. What is it to you? I asked inwardly.  “I got it”, the fella said. I didn’t. Get it I mean…For a second or two, I wasn’t sure what he meant. It never dawned on me that a total stranger would offer to pay for my order. Maybe try to get me to pay for his but not the other way around.  “Don’t worry about it, I’ll pay for your order”.  You don’t have to, I meekly responded.  Are you sure? There was no stopping him. He insisted.

The stranger asked me what size I was getting and made it clear that I could get whatever size I wanted and while I was at it, maybe grab a sandwich. I flirted with the idea of downsizing and getting a small coffee but decided to go with what my initial order. I wasn’t planning on getting anything to eat but after a few twists of my rubber arm, I settled for an apple fritter.

We engaged in season and weather conversation while we waited.  When we approached the clerk, he told her he was paying for whatever I wanted and signaled for me to order. He was good to his word. With a profuse and heart-felt thank you, I left the kind stranger to enjoy his meal.

I acknowledged this deed on my Facebook status and found that many people had the same experience recently. Very heartening, isn’t it? Has it happened to you? Maybe not in the same way but someone may have restored your faith in humanity? Don’t forget to pay it forward. It’s the only way we could counter the negatives of this earth.

Merry Christmas!

It’s The Nature Of Their Jobs

English: Gatso mobile speed camera mounted on ...

English: Gatso mobile speed camera mounted on a 2004–2006 Toyota Corolla (ZZE122R 5Y) Ascent station wagon, photographed in Geelong, Victoria, Australia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes we are so hard on those who are tasked with the unpleasant job of making our lives hard.  The guy sitting in the parked car taking photos of us as we speed past, disobeying the posted speed limit, the repossession agent or repo man taking our 60″ flat screen television that we ‘forgot’ to make the monthly payments on, that a**hole boss who picks on us when just because we take too long on our breaks or even the math teacher who dares to tell us that our Ivy league kid is failing math.  We hate them and sometimes take out our frustrations on them, but they are only doing their jobs.  Yes, even that poor lonely sap sitting in the speed trap car.

If we stopped and think about it, none of these people started their day thinking, “I am going to be an a**hole today.” No, they are like you and me. Just earning a dollar doing what they are paid to do. If we get mad, then they are doing a darn good job and deserve a raise. How about the the defense lawyer fighting for the rapist who cruelly and viciously violated our young daughter? Well he too is just doing what he’s paid to do.  We really don’t hate on them much though, do we? Maybe we should.

But then again, that’s just MY TAKE

 

Facing Our Mortality

When faced with our frailty and even mortality, it’s funny but not ‘ha ha’ funny, how we suddenly reassess our priorities.  Our all-important project now seem insignificant.  Paling in comparison to the boulder of uncertainty that now impedes us.  Just last week you told your wife that there’s no way you could get the day off work so both of you could celebrate your wedding anniversary.  Too much on your desk that needed your attention. Now today as you watch her gasp for breath in a hospital bed, there you are, away from work.  Vowing not to leave without her. Work could wait.

I know, it’s funny the way we could juggle our lives and put things in perspective once we come face to face with a life-changing moment, not only in our own lives but the lives of our loved ones.  I took my soul-mate to the hospital at 3am Monday morning as she was having asthma-like complications.  As I looked at her,   huffing and puffing her way to the car, my life, past, present and future flashed before my eyes. The ‘what ifs’ were overwhelming.  I knew she was going to be ok, but still, what if?

One of my many blessings I bragged about was that I had both of my grandmothers alive and over 100 years old. In fact, I had never had a death of anyone that was close to me since I was a little boy, and that was my 103 year-old great-grandmother, who I didn’t even live with.  Last month, the younger of my grandmother passed.  Today, her son, who is my dad, lies fighting for his life in a London hospital.  His prognosis looks bleak.

What does this all mean? Perhaps nothing. Just another page in the book of life to some.  To others, it’s an eye-opener. A time to look at what’s important and how much value to assign to them.  Unfortunately, many of us are too busy to notice until we are facing our own mortality.

Never Judge A Book By Its Cover, A Classic Example Why.

I believe in the saying ‘Never judge a book by its cover’ but sometimes, I can’t help being human and I make the mistake of judging someone based on their outward appearance.  I know, I shouldn’t and you shouldn’t either.  Here’s a really good reason.

After filling up at a gas bar on the weekend, I went inside a store to pay.  The clerk, a young black man with a mohawk haircut and lines etched in his short beard, was chatting on the phone with his buddy, discussing plans for the evening. I stood for what seemed like a couple of minutes but was actually maybe 20 to 30 seconds.  Granted, he should have put his friend on hold immediately when I got to the counter.  As I listened to his chatter, I deduced from his looks that he was the gangsta-ish type. Why are these people even in a customer service job? I thought to myself. Inside, I was already putting up barriers to deal with this punk.

When he came over to attend to me, he asked if the gas was all I was getting.  The usual generic question. I wasn’t fooled. My barriers were still up. Punk! With no customer service skills whatsoever!  “How is your day going so far?” Asked the punk in a genuinely caring voice. Say what? Maybe it’s just a trick. I was cautious in my response and also asked him how his day was.  We had a small conversation about the day, work, and even Christmas traditions!  He was a nice guy!  With great customer service!  Maybe just a little slow on getting off the phone but other than that, a good punk.

I felt badly as I walked out the store, wondering if he had seen my demeanor when he first approached me.  Could that be why he asked how my day was?  Not so good.  I just judged you because of how you looked.  If only I was judged on my looks sometimes…

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