My Takes

It's Just My Take

Archive for the tag “Sex”

It’s A Boy! It’s A Girl! It’s…It’s…What Is It?

Related imageThere’s a saying, ‘If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quack likes a duck, then it’s probably is a duck.’  I live by that mantra, kinda.  So when I saw the yahoo news about a baby born in British Columbia that was not assigned a sex at the parents’ wishes,  I thought, “How could that be?”  I showed the story to my 10-year old and he asked, “Can’t they tell if it has a pee pee or not?” (Hmm…maybe he read the book above). My response was, “Maybe there’s nothing there.”  You see, I was a bit naive, I wasn’t thinking inside the box.  Read story here.

You can’t blame me for being naive when all my life and my parents’ lives and my parents’ parents’ lives, there have always been a male and a female.  Pardon my ignorant simplicity, blame it on my upbringing.  I am really not used to this grey undetermined area.  In my simple mindedness, I thought that  It wasn’t up to parents to choose what gender they wanted their kid to be, or raise them as fence-straddlers until they decided their sexual orientation.  Reminds you of The Bachelor, doesn’t it?

Why oh why do we let this madness happen?  Why do we cave in to every inane whim by a faction of our society with too much time on their hands?  Dismantling everything once held sacred, now this.  A parent can now choose whether or not their kid, who was born with male parts, lives like a boy, a girl or sex unassigned.  SEX UNASSIGNED? No, no, it was assigned but you just don’t want to accept it.  It’s like accepting your parking spot that your work assigned to you because you thought that it was too far of a walk to the front door.  I pity the kid…

The parents of the above organism, wants it to grow up and gravitate to its own natural sexual orientation.  Like choosing if it wants to pee standing up or sitting down, briefs or G-strings, be a wife or a husband, join a girls’ sports league or a boys’ etc after first experimenting with them.  They also do not want the poor kid to be labelled.   Newsflash! It’s not labelling.  If it looks like a…nevermind, the world is so messed up that one little unassigned-sex kid won’t even cause a ripple.


Just my take…


Marriage Ain’t What It Used To Be

Cambodian wedding

Cambodian wedding (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Remember when marriage was a sacred thing and involved extended courtship followed by an engagement?  Not anymore.  Marriage is a joke now, hardly worth the paper it’s written on.  Courtship? What’s that? Ain’t nobody got time for that!  In fact there is even a reality show called ‘Marriage At First Sight’.

“Married at First Sight” is an extreme social experiment that follows six brave singles yearning for a life-long partnership as they agree to a provocative proposal: getting legally married to a complete stranger the moment they first meet. Four specialists – sexologist, Dr. Logan Levkoff; psychologist, Dr. Joseph Cilona; sociologist, Dr. Pepper Schwartz; and spiritual advisor, Greg Epstein – create what they believe are three perfect couples, based on scientific matchmaking. The couples will not meet until they walk down the aisle and see each other face-to-face, for the first time, at the altar. Over the course of several weeks, episodes capture each couple’s journey as they go from wedding, to honeymoon, to early nesting, to the daily struggle of working on their marriage. After several weeks together, each couple must make a decision: do they remain together or decide to divorce?

Do you believe this?  Are you still wondering why this place is so messed up? Beam me up, Scotty. Quick!

50 Shades Of Wrongness

What a twisted world we live in.  How could our kids understand it when their parents are just as confused? A few months ago, a popular radio personality, Jian Ghomeshi, was accused of having BDSM sex with his unwilling partners.  Women across the country called for his head as more came forward with accusations that they too were victims. Fast forward to present day, again women across the country and the world alike are again coming forward in regards to BDSM sex.  The exception? This time they are lining up to watch the movie based on the popular book, Fifty Shades Of Grey.  Is it me or is this some kinda distorted and warped sense of right and wrong?

Now I am not judging anyone on their sexual preference.  Bondage sex is not my cup of tea but if one choose to engage within the confines and privacy of their bedrooms, then it’s their prerogative.  Making it mainstream and allowing it to play in theaters? I am not so sure about that.  Some say it’s a love story, I say it’s porn but it’s just…


So You Want To Free Your Nipples?

I can tell you why but it's kinda obvious

I can tell you why but it’s kinda obvious

I understand that we are remaking and rebranding our society.  I understand that to do this, we need to make some drastic, questionable and sometimes ridiculous changes to what we once held sacred.  We need to be a more accepting society, we need to make everyone happy, change ‘Christmas’ to ‘holiday’, take bibles out of schools, yes, I totally understand.  It’s a inconvenient necessity.

Gone are the days when egotistical men armed with personal agendas opened doors for the ‘weaker sex’.  How rude of them!  Equality for all! We need a non-gender specific world where men and women are free to roam around shirtless. Yes, in fact, we need an non-gender world period! It’s time we get with the times! Let’s raise our sons to be ‘its’ let them wear pink dresses, flaunt their freedom of choices, let our daughters show their nipples. Free The Nipples!

Of course it’s a travesty.  Why shouldn’t women bare their chests to the delight of men?  If Miley Cyrus, Madonna, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj and a bunch of other highly respected celebrities are in on it, then why shouldn’t we take notice?

I am sorry but I can only maintain my sarcasm for so long.  Of course the idea is utterly ridiculous!  I am not against women fighting for some form of equality like equal pay, but sacrificing your self-respect to fight for something like showing your privates in public is definitely not the way to go.  You will get noticed for sure but not the way you want or is it the way you want?  What next? Don’t answer that.  The unification of the bathroom? I hate to break the news to you women but when it comes to gender, the sex detector has determined that you ARE indeed a woman.  Be proud of it.  Accept the difference, yes there is a difference.  Free your mind, not your nipple.  And that’s just My Take.

Dating Naked And Afraid

Csupasz túlélők / Naked and Afraid

Csupasz túlélők / Naked and Afraid (Photo credit: lwpkommunikacio)

A while ago, I predicted it wouldn’t be long before reality shows started showing people in the nude.  I didn’t have to wait long. ‘Naked And Afraid’ and ‘Dating Naked’ are two television shows that aim to capitalize on society’s fixation with nudity.  Naked And Afraid is a show very much like Survivor but involves two couples trying to survive the wilds while in the buff.  Dating Naked is just that, a dating show with the suitors all nude.

I am not sure what to make of all this.  I also predicted live killings would soon be aired on television, garnering large audiences. Dear God please don’t let us fall that far!  I understand the premise of the show but please tell me again why the nakedness…

Gay Parade Part Deux

Yesterday, I posted a blog, here, about what I perceived was an overexposure by Paraders taking in a Gay Parades.  I had no issues with the lifestyle, (still don’t), and when I professed to be ignorant of the reason why they had to be scantily clad, I actually was.  I really did not see the connection with being gay and parading around half-naked.  To me it was like a bunch of half naked women protesting for equality and respect.

I guess my post was mistaken to be a dig on the LGBT community as one reader left the following comment:  I know! Isn’t it outrageous? The other day I was at a restaurant and these people came in and actually sat at the table beside us. I thought, “How dare they think they’re equal citizens!”
They should have lowered their heads and taken their food to go- obviously.  (I took it he was being sarcastic.  I hope he was.  If he wasn’t, then he should lower his head and keep his comments to himself-obviously).

Like I eloquently put it, I have no issue with the LGBT.  Maybe my style of writing sent mixed messages, if so, I apologize.  Sometimes my style of writing does convey some contortion in its translation.  I sincerely didn’t mean to rain on the gay parade.

Remember, it’s not unanimous, it’s just MY TAKE.


Don’t Mean To Rain On Your Gay Parade, But…

nyc-gay-pride-3Yesterday my wife and I took the boys to the Children’s Museum for my cousin’s 5th birthday party.  The museum is at the Forks and it so happened that the Winnipeg Gay Pride Parade was winding down also at the Forks.  It was quite busy with lots of rainbow colors and great music.  After the party, my wife and I decided to walk around and check it out for a bit.

Now I am not anti-gay nor am I pro-gay. Just to set the records straight. I don’t care what people do with their lives as long as it doesn’t interfere negatively with mine.  I am cool that way.  The world is big enough for everyone to exercise their rights to be what they want to be.  Heck, as I walked through the throng of happy people, proud in their gayness, I was wearing a rainbow wristband with the saying, “Show your pride everyday”.  I am also cool like that.

What I couldn’t understand though was why the paraders were so ‘out there’.  Dressed outrageously, sexplicitly and sometimes more like circus clowns than anything else.  We have parades to show our black heritage but you never see us dressed like slaves or cannibals, do you?  We also don’t  show off our manhood as proof of our ‘blackness’.  I mean, can’t you parade wearing normal clothes?  What’s with the guys I saw with most of their butts exposed?  What’s with the young girls wearing just panties and bras?  Is that what being gay is about? I am sorry, I had no idea.  Pardon my ignorance.  I thought being a gay or a lesbian person was just a sexual orientation.  But then, I also thought that these parades were just public expressions of that preference and a gesture for acceptance.  I may be wrong but can’t one be gay or a lesbian and still dress heterosexually?  You really don’t need to show examples of what the lifestyle is about.

Again, pardon my ignorance but I really don’t think anyone could be taken seriously while dressed like some of these people were.  Mind you, many were decently clothed and behaved appropriately.  I understand the issues of the LGBT community.  I am all about equal rights and acceptance but when you parade around dress like an idiot at a public place attended by young kids, I can’t accept that. I can explain the reason for the parade to my young boys but how do I explain your indecent exposure?  “Son, don’t be gay or you would look like the guy in the photo?”

Here’s my take, if you are going to dress like a freak, please don’t take offense if you get mistaken for one.  But that’s just MY TAKE.  Maybe I’m wrong here and that’s EXACTLY what this gay parade thing is all about. In which case, I am truly sorry.  Didn’t mean to rain on your gay parade.  Carry on!



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That’s One Small Step Backwards For A Woman, One Giant Leap For Horny Men

indexLast weekend saw women all over the globe baring their chests in the name of gender equality.  Their point of contention is that it is unfair that their male counterparts are allowed to parade topless in public while they are subjected to the embarrassment of keeping their breasts covered.  What a shame!  What an injustice!  I am going out on a limb here but try as I may, I still fail to see the validity of this.  Man boobs have never been looked at as a sexual thing.  They do not induce lustful feelings, at least as far as I know.  A man’s breast is…well not really a breast.   At least in my opinion.  It’s like comparing apples to oranges, and no, no pun there.  I hate to say this ladies, but baring your breasts in cities around the world does nothing to level the playing field.  And the men who come out in support of your agenda have their own personal agendas.  Believe me.  Even some of the same women who are crying for equal rights to bare chests are not fully committed to this farce.  Last time I checked, not that I do check, bare-chested men don’t walk around with little pasties covering their areolas.  Sorry ladies, I will have to say that this rubbish is one small step backwards for you.  But not too bad for the guys who relish the idea of seeing some breasts without having to tip or stare at a computer screen.

Talking about small step backwards, the weekend was not a very good one for women all around.  If you happen to catch the VMA Awards, you would have seen Miley Cyrus performing a solo soft core porn act.  On stage with a visibly uncomfortable Robin Thicke, she engaged in lewd and disgusting sex acts using one of those foam hand things.  She grinded on him, rubbed herself provocatively, stuck her tongue out suggestively and gestured inappropriately.  It. Was. Awful.  I am sure she thought she was repping her female fans. (if she still has any). Maybe it’s a good thing she probably never heard about the gotopless organization or who knows what could have transpired.

Miley’s mom had this to say, “”I don’t approve. What did I do wrong?” Shields then got serious, adding, “I just want to know who is advising her and why it’s necessary (to do that). My six-year-old and my 10-year-old, they can’t watch that.  She can sing beautifully, and I feel like if she lets that lead, rather than let her bottom lead … I feel it’s a bit desperate – you’re trying to be (Lady) Gaga … but it’s different … She’s trying so, so hard.”  I am not sure what Billy Ray said, probably still busy rinsing the puke out of his mouth.

While Thicke’s mom added, “”I don’t understand what Miley Cyrus is trying to do. I think she’s misbegotten in this attempt of hers. And I think it was not beneficial. I didn’t get what her point was. It was so over the top as to almost be a parody of itself.”

Yes, it was a bad weekend for women, but all is not lost.  Fortunately, it was just the take of the minority and does not represent the self-respecting and decent women out there.  Coincidentally, this is also just my take.

Grade One Love

My six-year old surprised me today.  While getting out of the car, he said, “Daddy, guess what? So and so are in love.  They said they were going to kiss.”   Say What?!  I wasn’t prepared for this, at least not so soon.  Come on, it was only the boy’s fifth day in Grade one.

Remember a few blogs back, I told you that you should listen to you kids before someone else does? If not, read it here.  Well it seems like a lot of someones out there are willing to teach him about the birds and the bees before daddy gets his chance.

I am proud and happy to see my boy maturing but not at the cost of missing out on other things in life and especially not by the experiences of his experimental peers.  I am wondering if it’s now time to introduce him to the birds and the bees.  Not in its entirety but enough to hold him for a while because at this rate, who knows what next week holds?

Related posts:

Mik is in Grade One

Getting Dumped By The ‘Other’ Woman

“We won’t be seeing each other anymore.”  The words that no man, or woman for that matter, wants to hear.  I heard them yesterday from this girl who I’ve seen for the last month or so.  My wife Amie knew of her so don’t get your knickers in a tangle.

I am bad with names so I can’t remember her name but we had something good going.  She actually made me feel good with her strong arms.  I usually just lie there while she commanded me to do this or do that.  Now it’s over.

Even though Amie knew about her, I can’t help feeling that she had something to do with this.  She was never comfortable with me bringing her up in conversations.   The fact that she even came to one of my shows to see me perform was the turning point.  She thought that this ‘other’ woman had gone too far.  I informed her that she had her boyfriend with her when she came but that did nothing to allay her suspicions.  (And I thought I had an understanding wife…)

Anyways, yesterday,  I showed up at my other woman’s work and  she was busy with another guy.  That’s what the receptionist told me.  Hmm…interesting.

Alone with her, I removed my shirt and sat on the bed waiting for intructions.  “Lie down on your stomach.” She ordered.  I complied.  I closed my eyes as her strong arms went to work.  “Ok, push against me.” Another order to which I did as asked.  “You can do better, try again. Harder!”  I gave it my best shot and finally she seemed satisfied.  “Much better.”

After it was over, she looked me in the eye and uttered those dreadful words.  The words I never wish to hear again.  “We won’t be seeing each other anymore.”

I am still not sure it was time to stop physiotherapy as my shoulder still hurts and has limited mobility but she’s the physiotherapist so she knows best.  But I still have to wonder, was it the other guy?

What were you thinking all this time??  I am happily married!  You people!

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